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Life coach: Been there, done that

BELOIT — Tonya Ramsey has been down that road.

She struggled for years to find herself.

She married right out of high school. She pushed aside her dreams of starting a family, going to college and working her dream job. She wasn't the woman she wanted to be.

"I was not satisfied," she said. "I wanted to be Tonya, but I didn't know what that meant."

Ramsey finally found herself after a seven-year search that included getting divorced, marrying her best friend, giving birth to her son, buying a house and enrolling in college.

Ramsey has since taken what she learned along the way and turned it into a successful coaching business through which she helps women build the foundations they need to be successful wives, mothers and businesswomen.

It's that firsthand experience that sets her apart from other life coaches, she said.

"People want to get help from someone who's been there," she said. "I'm not perfect. I have my flaws. But I understand because I've been through it. And I think that's what people want when they're looking to change their lives."

Ramsey is the owner of LBD Enterprises, which includes Life By Design, one-on-one and group coaching services; "Journey to Self," a weekly radio show; and Mom's Coffee Break, a networking group for working mothers.

Change of thought

Ramsey, 33, of Beloit said coaching came naturally.

Even as she was taking care of herself, she still felt the need to take care of others. But she wasn't satisfied passing on her knowledge in casual conversation; she needed a way to equip others with the tools they need to be successful.

"Being a coach is different than giving advice to my girlfriends," she said. "I'm giving these women great tools, resources, information and helping them achieve their best life."

Ramsey said life coaching is not much different from sports coaching.

"I help people develop a plan, identify the steps they need to take to execute that plan and guide them along the way," she said. "It's very much like having a cheerleader."

Ramsey, who is working toward a bachelor's degree in psychology at UW-Whitewater, offers coaching in three areas: personal development, family management and business assistance.

"I want to help people build that foundation—that sense of self, that family, that business they always wanted so they can be successful," she said. "That's really where my passion is. I want women to feel empowered in their lives, to be themselves, to follow their path."

Ramsey said many women lack the support they need to realize their dreams.

"I have run into so many women who say, ‘I would love to do that only if …'" she said. "There's a way around that. How else could I be a wife and mother, go to school and run my business? I had let go of that limited thinking of ‘only if.'"

Ramsey wants other women to have the same support she found from family, friends and colleagues.

"I want them to have that support to know that no matter what, they can do it," she said. "It's an invaluable tool to making your life what you want it to be."

No boundaries

LBD Enterprises is largely a virtual operation.

One-on-one and group coaching is done over the phone or in an online meeting room. The radio show is broadcast online. The working mothers group meets online.

Ramsey said there are advantages—mainly that distance is not an issue.

She can coach a woman in California, interview an author in Indiana and communicate with women in Colorado. And she can fit those things into her schedule alongside cooking dinner for her family, cleaning the house and writing a school paper.

But that doesn't mean Ramsey plans to keep her services out of the community.

She's already working on developing a family management workshop for teen mothers that would be offered at the local high school. And she's got more ideas in the works.

"I love the ability to reach people all over the world, but I feel a strong pull toward getting out in the community and applying everything I've learned … and offering more people the chance to grow," Ramsey said.