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Support groups could come to Rock, Walworth towns

JANESVILLE — Every woman was unique, as people always are.

Yet the minute they started talking, it was obvious they held a common bond.

Maybe it was just a few words that sparked a memory. But it was enough to get nods from other women in the circle.

"Yes. I've been there. I know just what you mean."

The words rushed out, as if once the women started telling their stories, they couldn't finish quickly enough.

The women's voices cracked and broke as they struggled to share intimate details with a circle of strangers:

-- "My husband's not a violent man. But his mouth! Boy, can it hurt."

-- "I worked my tail off on that damned farm."

-- "I don't know if I can do this."

-- "I work at a domestic violence shelter in Whitewater. The first few calls I took were from women in rural areas. I was shocked."

-- "I feel blank. I don't know what to do next."

-- "It's going to be the worst day of my life."

And to think, Wednesday's "Gathering Circle" was just a demonstration.

About 20 women from Rock and Walworth counties participated Wednesday morning in a round-table discussion at Rotary Gardens in Janesville. The event was hosted by the Wisconsin Rural Women's Initiative, a non-profit agency headquartered in Elkhorn.

The initiative operates across Wisconsin. Wednesday's discussion was one of the first steps in bringing its programs to Rock and Walworth counties, said Mary Bub, founder of the initiative.

Bub and her family run MoonStar Farm outside Elkhorn where they raise and sell produce, poultry and grass-fed beef and goats.

One of the programs Bub started is "Gathering Circles." Each circle is a small-group discussion hosted by and for rural women. The circles are meant to give rural women a place to talk confidentially about the issues they share.

The circles often have a theme, and Wednesday's theme was teacups.

The theme helps women use metaphors to jump in to sharing their story, Bub said.

On Wednesday, six volunteers chose teacups from the center of the circle. They introduced themselves and told why they chose the cups.

Information shared in the circle is meant to be held in confidence. Therefore, although the Gazette was invited, the paper will not print the names of the women who talked.

Some shared stories of past violence and talked about the stresses of running a family farm.

After the demonstration, some women agreed to volunteer to bring the initiative's programs to Rock and Walworth counties. In addition to the circles, the non-profit holds free weekend retreats for women or couples, facilitators' training sessions and groups for elderly, rural women.

The initiative is aimed at rural women because they could have a harder time accessing services than women who live in cities, Bub said. But the participants agreed that the issues are the same for all people, rural and urban.

Isolation, lack of preventative medicine, domestic abuse, financial instability and lack of transportation all were issues mentioned by attendees.

Allison Kestol-Bauer, a social worker with Rock-Walworth Comprehensive Family Services, spoke with the Gazette after the demonstration.

When she makes house calls in Walworth County, she said, women often pour out their hearts to her because they have no one else to talk to.

If the rural initiative can get circles and other programs running in Rock and Walworth counties, it will be another tool in the box for Kestol-Bauer.

"This is another resource for our families that we work with," Kestol-Bauer said.