You thought THAT was bad: 22 more reasons to fear health care reform
Page 28: “Sharing” of electronic medical records allows government to compile PRIVATE DATA about millions of Americans and make annoying prank calls on important birthdays.
Page 61: Provides for annual checkups, and all body-temperature readings must be made with rectal thermometers kept below 35 degrees Fahrenheit.
Page 97: If Grandma’s already dead, you have to pull the plug on Grandpa—even if he’s not sick!
Page 112: Requirement to remove all metal objects before certain diagnostic tests—a plot to confiscate CONSTITUTIONALLY PROTECTED guns from anesthetized Americans.
Page 164: Reimbursable examination robes will have slits in back AND front.
Page 170: Ban on easy-open pill bottles, part of government effort to make seniors want to die sooner.
Page 245: In case of pandemic outbreak, nothing prohibiting SMALL CHILDREN from being quarantined with chinchillas.
Page 311: Forced “sterilization” of all surgical tools. One more step toward forced sterilization of everyone.
Page 398: No guarantee of cherry-flavored cough syrup. Flavors will be selected by government-run “phlegm panels.”
Page 426: You will be forced to share your hospital room with an ILLEGAL ALIEN, and the alien’s entire family can stay in your room all night.
Page 519: Bio fuels to run government-dispatched ambulances will be derived from body fluids of aborted fetuses and kidnapped militia members.
Page 563: List of acceptable sites for medical-waste disposal doesn’t include your house, so government-run hospitals are free to turn your backyard into a toxic site without paying any compensation!
Page 602: No provision preventing government agents from breaking into your home to verify the labels and DOSAGE LEVELS of your personal prescription drugs.
Page 700: Oppressive new mileage standards for power-driven wheelchairs.
Page 914: No semi-automatic weapons permitted in operating rooms.
Page 988: All doctors, nurses and medical technicians required to speak with hard-to-understand foreign accents.
Page 1013: Pre-death harvesting of vital organs permitted during “Happy Hour” on first Wednesday of every month.
Page 1042: NO PROHIBITION on sending “socially unproductive” seniors into low earth orbit.
Page 1,051: Government-funded registry of patient “blood types” opens door to secret vampirization of health-care system.
Page 1,057: Coverage of so-called “mental-health services” gives federal government unfettered access to BRAIN WAVES, another step toward Washington-directed MIND CONTROL.
Page 1,079: No restrictions on conducting disabling medical procedures on Fox News anchors.
Page 1124: Encourages “rational steps” by doctors to ascertain patients’ wishes in end-of-life situations. “Rational” and “rationing” begin with the SAME SIX LETTERS. Coincidence?
Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at firstname.lastname@example.org.