Party pressure is on parents
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JANESVILLE — Many parents still believe they can host teenage drinking parties and get away with it.
And many probably do.
Others get busted, which is the point of a statewide campaign that includes local law enforcement and organizations such as Partners in Prevention of Rock County.
The billboards are up. The flyers have been mailed. They say "Parents who host lose the most."
What do they lose? The fine from the sheriff's office is $438. In Janesville, it's $753.
But that's far from the most a parent could lose.
The most is a son or daughter dead from alcohol poisoning or an alcohol-related accident, notes Kate Baldwin, Partners in Prevention director.
But in the seven years since her organization began focusing on the problem, Baldwin is frustrated that parents continue to help their kids drink.
"You can't talk to these people. They don't understand. People just don't understand how dangerous it is for young people, whose bodies look the same size as adult bodies but are not the same," she said.
Who's to blame?
Some parents are caught unaware when kids sneak alcohol into their parties, police reports indicate. But others believe their kids will drink anyway, so it's best they drink under adult supervision.
But parties can get out of hand, and it can be difficult to supervise what's happening in the basement and backyard when the crowd swells.
Teens passed out or vomiting at parties are common in police reports. One Janesville teen was found unconscious and alone in a hot tub. Also common is large numbers of teens racing through fields, woods or neighborhoods to escape arrest.
Here's a recent incident:
Officers responded to a 911 call at 1:33 a.m. April 3 on Janesville's west side. They found a male lying on the lawn with his pants around his ankles, vomiting.
A car was stopped after leaving the residence, and a 16-year-old boy was passed out in the back seat, according to police reports. Someone had drawn vulgar images on his face in black marker.
Police couldn't wake the boy. They called paramedics. He later registered 0.28 percent blood alcohol—more than three times the legal limit for driving—and was released to his parents.
The 19-year-old driver was arrested for drunken driving with a 0.9 percent test. No one would answer the door to the residence. Later, police talked to three adult roommates but could not determine whether they had hosted the party. The roommates said the underage drinkers had brought their own beer.
One roommate was cited for playing loud music/disturbing the peace. Three teens were cited for underage drinking.
Patrols target parties
The Rock County Sheriff's Office has stepped up its efforts to bust drinking parties in recent years. Sgt. Jason Harding is in charge of the effort, overseeing increased patrols on nights of prom, graduations, homecomings and the like.
Prom and graduation season is prime time for these patrols.
Deputies aren't exactly sneaking up on anybody. They announce efforts in the news media, which may be a reason parties are getting harder to find, Harding said.
Or the parties might be moving into jurisdictions where deputies don't patrol, Harding suggested.
Even so, deputies wrote more than 70 citations for underage drinking last year, Harding said.
Deputies on patrol will keep an eye out for large numbers of cars parked at a residence or beer cans strewn around, Harding said. They might stop a car for some infraction and smell the alcohol, which leads them to a party.
Like the sheriff's department, Janesville police have a state grant that pays for increased patrols on nights when alcohol violations are likely, including proms and graduations, said the department's Capt. Dan Davis.
Who bought the beer?
Harding couldn't venture a guess about how many parties don't get busted.
"We know about way fewer than are actually happening. I'm confident of that," Davis said.
Harding said the ultimate goal is to shut down the sources of alcohol, so deputies also check stores for compliance, sending in underage adults to see if they can buy without being carded.
But when it comes to a party, "It's awfully difficult to get these kids to tell you where they got the alcohol or the beer," Harding said.
Davis agreed.
Some parents will host a small, quiet party. They'll buy the booze and take the kids' car keys. Kids sleep over. Nobody gets hurt, right?
Harding disagrees: "You're taking a huge responsibility if you let these kids drink and get to point where they can't care for themselves and something happens. There are liability issues there for the host."
Imagine the liability if a kid suffocates on his own vomit in your house, Harding said.
"And what about other parents, do they know their children are there? There are a lot of issues," Harding said.
"Too many people think underage drinking is harmless or worse—acceptable—if parents take cars keys away from youth," Baldwin said. "Nobody has the right to endanger the welfare of someone else's child by providing them with alcohol."
Davis said Job 1 is to protect the public, and that is why officers want to get into the house to make sure someone isn't dying from alcohol poisoning or choking on vomit.
A 19-year old Janesville man died from alcohol poisoning at a party in 2003. Davis said he doesn't want another family to go through losing a child like that.
Tips for parents
How to control a teen party:
-- Help your teenager plan. Make a guest list. Invite only a specific number of people.
-- Have your child pass out or send invitations. Try to avoid an "open party."
-- Don't send e-mail invitations. They can be forwarded to a large number of people quickly.
-- Put your phone number on the invitation and welcome calls from parents.
-- Set rules such as no alcohol, drugs or tobacco. Set start and end times.
-- Tell attendees they can't come back if they leave.
-- Have plenty of food and non-alcoholic beverages.
-- Plan activities such as music, games, movies.
-- Let your neighbors know there will be a party and that you will be there to supervise.
-- Limit the party access to a certain area of the house or property.
-- Have a plan to deal with vehicles. Include parking information on your party invitation.
-- Call parents of any teen who arrives drunk or in possession of alcohol. If you can't get in touch with the parents, keep the teen there. Call the police if necessary.
-- Secure all forms of alcohol, firearms, prescription drugs and other potentially hazardous items in your home in a safe place.
-- Familiarize yourself with you municipality's noise ordinance.
-- Make regular visits to the party area with sensitivity to teens' needs for privacy and independence.
-- If the party is a big one, invite other parents to help chaperone.
When you're away from home or out of town:
-- Set rules to be followed in your absence.
-- Forbid unsupervised parties or gatherings.
-- Remind your kids of their responsibilities and the consequences of their actions.
-- Have a relative or responsible adult stay at your home during your absence, have your teen stay with a responsible adult, or ask a neighbor to watch the house and stop in.
-- If you worry your child might have a party anyway, call police and ask them to drive by. Make it a point to tell your child that you have asked the police to do this.
If your teen is attending a party:
-- Call the parent to verify the occasion and location of the party and ensure there will be adult supervision.
-- Ask how many teens are expected at the party. Offer to help supervise or provide refreshments.
-- Make certain the hosts will not serve or allow alcohol. Ask what they plan to do if someone shows up with alcohol or has been drinking.
-- Tell your child and the parent hosting the party that if the teens leave and go somewhere else, you need to know.
-- Set a curfew for your teen to be home. Require them to check in with you.
-- Know how your child is getting to and from the party. Reinforce the message that your child should never allow anyone who has been drinking or using drugs to drive him or her anywhere.
-- Assure your kids you will pick them up whenever needed.
-- If the activity seems inappropriate, express concern and keep your child home.
Source: Wisconsin Alliance for Youth, Wisconsin Clearinghouse for Prevention Resources and Wisconsin departments of Transportation, Public Instruction and Health Services
May 14, 2009 at 2:32 p.m.
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Well excuse me I'm 17 and I'm never home I work a lot I rarely eat at home and my dad works outta town a lot so I do pay for my food and what not.
And its just a damn opinion that I have I didn't ask for everyone to flip on me...
I'm 17 I don't need to pay all of the bills at my house and my parents won't expect me to when I'm college either.
May 13, 2009 at 8:12 p.m.
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Baybeegirl... this blog is about parents who let their children consume alcohol. You are the one that went off about how you think kids are so savvy that parents are clueless. A few really are, they are caught up in their own drama and their kids are second or third on their list of priorities. Sucks to be THOSE kids.
But YOU chose to join blogs with many people of different opinions and family backgrounds. If your "little feelings" are hurt, that's your problem. I don't mince words or caramel coat my opinion. You are certainly welcome to speak your mind, but with that, comes responses.
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Wow! A cell phone, a YMCA "memebership" and gas? Well, good for you. What does that add up to.. $100 bucks? You are so far from being on your own, it will slap you in the face and when reality is sitting on your doorstep and you don't get why it's "so hard" to pay rent and utilities on a CNAs wage, get back to me.
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So - to get back on topic... what parent in their right mind, thinks its OK to let your own kids get intoxicated under your nose? Let alone, you are allowing other kids to do the same? Do all the other parents know (REALLY know) what you are allowing under your own roof? STUPID!!!
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Parents should have to face jail time for allowing these kids to drink, or buying alcohol for minors! IT IS THE LAW! What are you really teaching them? The law doesn't apply to us or my child?
May 13, 2009 at 3:11 p.m.
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Do you pay for your insurance,rent for your portion of the mortgage,your car payment or if no payment you bought the car yourself?, and the food you eat and the electric bill, the water bill, the sewer bill, your clothing costs, your cost for schooling, etc... ? It is great that you pay for some of your luxuries but in the real world there are alot more bills that have to be paid than just the cell and a YMCA membership and gas and trust me it gets real expensive.
May 13, 2009 at 2:44 p.m.
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Well I hope you feel proud of yourself arguing with a teenager..
And I don't get away with stunts...
I have a good relationship with both of my parents and even my grandparents and honesty is the best policy, and I'm always 150% honest with them.
And I do know what I'm talking about since I know these students and there parents are sooooo clueless or in denile!
And ha I do pay my own bills I do believe I have a cell and a ymca memebership that I do on my own and I pay for my own gas.
and you know what my parents have nothing to do with the way I am today, I have become my own person with my own perspectives thank you copperguy :-)!
May 11, 2009 at 7:27 p.m.
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Baybeegirl... until you are on your own, paying your own bills, your life has NOT started yet. You're simply your parent's child, with all the perks that teens your age take advantage of.
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And don't even think most parents are clueless. Many of us "pick our battles carefully" and know more than you think, about what our children are up to. My kids used to think I was psychic, or had eyes in the back of my head. I had a great network of other parents and we let each other know when something seemed a bit "off". And we followed up on those activities we thought were "less than innocent".
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Did my kids pull some stunts and "get away with it"? Of course they did! But for the most part, the end result was no big deal. They simply lost my trust and their own self-respect. Of course, at the time, they thought like you... all pumped up with getting away with stuff.
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But now that they are 25 and 27, the "stunts" they pulled then, mean nothing to them now. They are in THE REAL WORLD.
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When you grow up, get back to us... We'll be interested in what you have to say when you have an adult's perspective.
May 11, 2009 at 3:22 p.m.
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baybeegirl: You wrote, "my parents brought me up to be honest." Aren't you the same person who wrote on another blog that you would interfere with a police investigation in order to keep your child from being ticketed for underage drinking?
Your parents obviously did a wonderful job!
May 11, 2009 at 2:46 p.m.
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Funny thing is my friends parents think they're precious little boy/girl doesn't drink or party or anything.
Obviously I do know more than parents and just cos I'm not graduated yet or in college doesn't mean my life hasn't begun because it has :-)
May 9, 2009 at 5:30 p.m.
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babeegirl...your life hasn't even begun, you don't know squat :)
May 8, 2009 at 2:39 p.m.
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Well CallitasIseeit I am 17 years old with a lot of opinions so that'd probably explain it....
And since I am that age I know a lot more than what parents think about how their children are and act, most teenagers at Parker/Craig that I know don't listen to their parents I mean its like blah blah blah they do what they want and lie to their parents.
The truth hurts sometimes doesn't it?!
I on the other hand don't need to lie to my parents, my parents brought me up to be honest with them...
:-)
May 8, 2009 at 6:18 a.m.
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10 years ago, my youngest daughter, along with her best friend, babysat for a woman on New Year's Eve. This ignorant stupid woman bought the girls a bottle of EverClear for them to drink while they were supposed to be watching HER child!!!
Youngest daughter called oldest daughter (because she was in the bathroom puking her guts out). Oldest daughter called me, I called the police (I think, I can't remember, but they were there when we got there...)
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What stupid adult pulls such a stunt? Her child could have been seriously injured with two totally blasted 15 year olds!
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Be the parent, be the adult... there will be plenty of time to act out whatever issues you're having with being a grown up, AFTER you've raised your own kids. Don't set your child up to be a failure, simply because you want to relive your teenage years through your child!
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And!!!! It is AGAINST THE LAW!!! I don't see why this is so hard for people to understand. You're telling your children its OK to break the law. Yeah, that's a great lesson for them to take into adulthood.
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Stupid is as stupid does!
May 7, 2009 at 4:01 p.m.
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Hey "thediplomat"! I almost fell out of my chair when I read your comment. Good one!
May 7, 2009 at 3:46 p.m.
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Who cares if they're 17 they'll be 18 soon anyways?? Hellloooo, the drinking age is 21.
I can relate to the parent hosting party thing. I had a friend in high school whose mom would drive us to and from the sporting events then back to her house for pizza and beers. We would play drinking games and she'd play along with us sometimes. We thought she was so cool. She'd see who she could get the most drunk. I think about it now, 25 years later, and how absolutely rediculous this woman was. She did it because she wanted her daughter to have a lot of friends. Sick..
May 7, 2009 at 3:31 p.m.
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Baybeegirl, your posts make you sound like a spoiled brat. If "it goes in one ear and out the other" on my kids they would be out the door.
May 7, 2009 at 3:08 p.m.
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No matter how much parents talk to kids about it and what not, they're going to do it if they want to or not, it goes one ear out the other...
Especially when they're 17 who cares they'll be 18 soon anyways you're not gonna phase them...
May 7, 2009 at 12:08 p.m.
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Quoted from the article:
"The 19-year-old driver was arrested for drunken driving with a 0.9 percent test. No one would answer the door to the residence. Later, police talked to three adult roommates but could not determine whether they had hosted the party."
Reporter, check your figures...a person with a 0.9% blood alcohol content? Death usually occurs at around 0.5% BAC or less.
May 7, 2009 at 11:58 a.m.
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My favorite is when the mom is a cougar and sleeps with her son/daughter's friends as well.
May 7, 2009 at 11:21 a.m.
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I have a 17 year old sister, and I do not like it when she drinks. (This is going to get a lot of backlash, but...) When they go to college, what do you think is going to happen? They're going to drink - a lot - and get out of control, and make bad decisions. Don't you think parents should teach kids to drink responsibly? I DO NOT think it's ok for a parent to throw a drinking party, but don't you think a glass of wine at dinner is ok? To teach them how it feels, how it impairs their judgment?
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I completely understand a person's position on a no tolerance kind of thing, so please don't think I am all for underage drinking or anything. I guess my stance is more of teaching them to be able to make better decisions, because my guess is that they will be drinking anyway.
May 7, 2009 at 3:39 a.m.
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hahaha that is funny, people lets grow up
May 7, 2009 at 2:04 a.m.
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I completely understand where everyone is coming from. I myself took part in parties that a parent "looked over" and I would like to think that I learned alot from it. I'm not saying that it was right but given the situation, we learned alot about being responsible. Not every parent/person is the same, so why criticize them for their choice. My views are dif than the next. Just my 2 cents.
May 7, 2009 at 12:52 a.m.
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There are too many parents who would rather be their child's "friend" then their parent. Lord forbid their child isn't the most popular one at school!
May 6, 2009 at 11 p.m.
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I agree that parents allowing or providing alcohol is wrong. I understand and agree that 18 yr olds can serve in the military but cannot drink is confusing. But that IS the law. As a parent of 3 kids 17-21 I have never offered a drink. I inform them if they are at a friend's where there is drinking, they know about it and do not leave, they deal with any consequences if caught. I will not bail anyone out or pay any fines. Adults know providing alcohol is illegal. Kids know the legal drinking age. Anyone caught should have to be held accountable. People can have fun without beer. The guests make the party great. Drunks ruin parties. Large fines put a damper on fun. Everyone be responsible.
May 6, 2009 at 10:54 p.m.
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Teens (and many adults) do not comprehend the dangerousness of intoxication. If someone is passed out and cannot be awakened, they are not safe. I am a registered nurse and still remember with disbelief the night I cared for three drunken teens who had to be placed on ventilators (life support) because the alcohol compromised their breathing to the point of near-death. Thank God that somebody at least got those kids to the hospital.
May 6, 2009 at 10:52 p.m.
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Nice story Frank.
May 6, 2009 at 9:33 p.m.
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There are a LOT of parent sponsored drinking parties in Janesville. A few years ago a coach went to pick up his daughter at one, after she called for a ride. The parents would not let the coach get into his house because they were afraid he would report all the athletes in the house who were drinking. Never mind that they were breaking the law by providing the alcohol.
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I would be all for a city ordinace with a $5,000 fine for any adult hosting a drinking party specifically intended for teen-agers. Not a few kids at a wedding, but for those morons who buy bottles of vodaka, red bull, and cases of beer and turn the kids loose in the basement because "At least they won't be driving". WAKE UP AND BE THE PARENT, your teenage years are done.
May 6, 2009 at 7:40 p.m.
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Drinking with your parents isnt cool, what are they thinking? (that is a joke)
May 6, 2009 at 6:13 p.m.
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When I was a kid we had our own illicit beer parties LOL! Why is it the parent's responsibility?? I don't agree with the second tip, btw: "Have your child pass out..".
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