Cold’s not so bad
Latest Forecast
JANESVILLE — Get out the wool socks, the wool pants and the insulated underpants.
It’s going to be insanely, brutally, miserably, bone-chillingly cold.
Here’s the forecast, in brief: today, below zero with wind chill; tonight, 1 to 3 inches of snow; Thursday, 2 to 4 inches of snow and windy; Friday, high of 12 degrees; Friday night, low of minus 2, and Saturday, a balmy 17 degrees.
Now, for many Midwesterners, January is an opportunity to show the rest of the country—especially places such as California—that we come from sturdy stock and don’t really mind the vicissitudes of the winter weather.
“Oh, it’s not so bad,” we tell relatives who live in warmer climes.
Our tone is tinged with moral superiority, as though coping with wind chill makes us better people, instead of people who would sell their grandmothers for a 50-degree day.
In order to maintain moral ascendancy, however, we’ve got to be able to back that tone with something tangible, such as:
- Lower temperatures mean less crime.
“In general, I think that’s the case,” said Janesville Police Chief David Moore. “In particular, it’s true of the property crimes that go on in our community.”
Breaking into cars and houses requires quite a bit of “prowling around,” Moore said.
At some point, apparently, it gets too cold to prowl.
- Better ice fishing.
Admittedly, this is a bit hard to pitch to warmer-state relatives. That’s because they don’t understand the whole Zen thing that goes on between an angler and his or her tip-up.
Instead, pitch the wonderful taste of blue gills fresh from the lake and hot out of the pan.
- Fewer aphids next summer.
Russell Groves, assistant professor of entomology of UW-Madison, said in order to do serious damage to the insect population, you need a freeze that penetrates the ground—and then snow.
This year, we had the opposite. That’s good for perennials, bad for insect mortality.
Groves is spending the bulk of this week’s cold spell at the World Potato Expo in Orlando, Fla., where he is giving a speech titled, “Controlling Potato Virus Y Levels in Seed.”
Do they even grow potatoes in Florida?
There is an upside—to the weather, not to Florida.
“Aphids overwinter on twigs and branches,” said Groves, who sounded like he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt.
Aphids are designed to handle cold snaps, Groves said, but the continual cold might cause them to “suffer some level of mortality that could whittle away at the population.”
The soybean aphid, which can wreak havoc on a soybean crop, overwinters on buckthorn. Again, sustained cold could make slight inroads into the population.
We’ll take whatever we can get, aphids-wise.
- More family togetherness.
Several local pizza companies confirmed that pizza deliveries go up when the temperatures go down.
When talking to southern relatives, paint a cozy picture of your family gathered around the roaring fireplace with the pizza box open on the floor.
Don’t mention that the kids have cabin fever so bad that you’re considering getting out the bear tranquilizer gun you keep for such winter emergencies.
The less they know, the better.
Jan 7, 2010 at 4 p.m.
Suggest removal
badgerlvr- because we get bored and like change. this is why we stay and complain all of the time. I would also complain if it was ALWAYS 70 and sunny. I like a rainy day once in awhile.
I like it to snow. I don't really like under 35 degrees. It will be like a heat wave when we get one of those again. I like tuplips. Cannot do those in AZ.
Jan 7, 2010 at 3:02 p.m.
Suggest removal
Because his teeth were chattering... because of the cold...
Jan 7, 2010 at 2:43 p.m.
Suggest removal
When 99.9% of your readers don't know the meaning of some of the words you use, then what makes you think we'd like to keep reading?
vicissitudes –noun 1. a change or variation occurring in the course of something.
2. interchange or alternation, as of states or things.
3. vicissitudes, successive, alternating, or changing phases or conditions, as of life or fortune; ups and downs: They remained friends through the vicissitudes of 40 years.
4. regular change or succession of one state or thing to another.
5. change; mutation; mutability.
ascendancy–noun the state of being in the ascendant; governing or controlling influence; domination
In other words you're being
ostentatious-–adjective 1. characterized by or given to pretentious or conspicuous show in an attempt to impress others: an ostentatious newspaper columnist.
2. (of actions, manner, qualities exhibited, etc.) intended to attract notice
Jan 7, 2010 at 1:30 p.m.
Suggest removal
The weather isn't the reason old people move to Arizona and Florida, they move to those places because they know that if they spend enough time with each other, dying starts to look good.
Jan 7, 2010 at 1:01 p.m.
Suggest removal
If the cold isn't so bad, why do I see nothing but Minnesota, Iowa, and Wisconsin cars here in Arizona?
Jan 7, 2010 at 12:19 p.m.
Suggest removal
I don't miss that crap for a second. Moving to the South after I graduated college was the best thing I ever did. Now if we could get Xmas moved to July I would be even happier since I wouldn't be forced to visit WI in the winter.
Jan 7, 2010 at 8:29 a.m.
Suggest removal
cynicaleye - Maybe I can hitch a ride!
Jan 6, 2010 at 10:41 p.m.
Suggest removal
I checked the weather forecast for Fort Lauderdale Florida this afternoon after seeing the news reports of cold weather down there. They had a WIND CHILL advisory....for a wind chill of 30 degrees! Not 30 degrees below zero, just 30 degrees! I'm still laughing.
Jan 6, 2010 at 9:59 p.m.
Suggest removal
Or as David Bowie would say "ch-ch-ch-changes".
Jan 6, 2010 at 9:50 p.m.
Suggest removal
prevention:vicissitud means changeability,a sudden or unexpected change in a persons life.
Jan 6, 2010 at 9:32 p.m.
Suggest removal
Cathy,
What's with the big words? What in the world does "vicissitudes" mean? :)
Jan 6, 2010 at 9:26 p.m.
Suggest removal
I agree that pizza deliveries go up when it snows, but in my experience the tips don't always follow suit!! While some people go above & beyond when tipping in bad weather, there are still a lot of people don't tip AT ALL, or only "tip" the 32¢ or so they have coming back from what they paid.
•
The funny thing is, it's usually the people that have shoveled and salted that go out of their way to tip well and wish you safe travel!
Jan 6, 2010 at 9:25 p.m.
Suggest removal
I have my fuzzy toe socks, I"M SET!
Jan 6, 2010 at 9:14 p.m.
Suggest removal
I love the snow and I'll take it over the ice storms and multiple tornados we had every year in Kansas City. Plus, snow and cold for a few months is a small price to pay for living where spring, summer and especially autumn are gorgeous. I love Wisconsin! :)
Jan 6, 2010 at 8:51 p.m.
Suggest removal
I agree with rusty. Live out in North Dakota for a few weeks. You will find out what real cold is. Be thankful you don't have to plug your car in like they do there.
Jan 6, 2010 at 8:10 p.m.
Suggest removal
Oh I just love it when people in WI complain about the cold Winters. Really, you didn't know it got cold here?
Jan 6, 2010 at 7:25 p.m.
Suggest removal
When I lived in North Dakota, the high temp for the whole month of January one year was -20. This ain't even close to being cold!
Jan 6, 2010 at 7:09 p.m.
Suggest removal
Where was the gazette this past weekend? It was colder then than it's expected to be coming up. This is Wisconsin, it's not "brutally" cold unless the highs are in the single or negative digits. Heck, this past week some places just west of here barely got above zero for many days in a row. We don't have it so bad here. It'll start warming up in a month and a half or so :)
Jan 6, 2010 at 6:43 p.m.
Suggest removal
Thank God for the desert!
Jan 6, 2010 at 5:39 p.m.
Suggest removal
dry cold my keester, its gonna get wet tonight and freeze us with miserable temps...You just gotta love Wisconsin
Jan 6, 2010 at 5:33 p.m.
Suggest removal
jason....., watch out for the blue-haired mafia.
Jan 6, 2010 at 5 p.m.
Suggest removal
It's 65 and sunny in Arizona. I don't miss the cold for a second. I can enjoy the outdoors all year long
Jan 6, 2010 at 4:55 p.m.
Suggest removal
Truth- is that the problem. I can't touch my hair with out it sticking to my face! Seems worse than last year to me(static I mean).
Yes {{{{{toooooooooooo}}}} {{{cold}}}.
I can spray bugs haha.
It won't be long when it is too hot to breathe and we wish for winter.
Jan 6, 2010 at 4:46 p.m.
Suggest removal
You're only miserable if you wanna be. Be glad you're alive, and that some pot-crazed heathen hasn't taken away your freedom of expression.
Jan 6, 2010 at 4:42 p.m.
Suggest removal
Yeah, but it's a dry cold!
Jan 6, 2010 at 4:36 p.m.
Suggest removal
Snow. Gray sky. Cold. I can generally take two out of three on any given day, but all three combined is miserable.
Jan 6, 2010 at 4:35 p.m.
Suggest removal
Let me know if you go back.
Jan 6, 2010 at 4:26 p.m.
Suggest removal
Why, oh why did I ever leave California?
Before you post a comment, consider this:
Note: GazetteXtra.com does not condone or review every comment. Read more in our User Policy AgreementPost Comment
Commenting requires registration.