I really do NOT understand how this kid is being charged. The child who passed would have got the drugs another way, NOBODY forced any of these kids to do the drugs. I don't see placing a CHILD in jail helping this KID! This community needs to take a stand. I have seen more in this paper about drug arrest and drug abuse than I ever have. We need to do whatever we can to let the young people in this community have a real chance! I know a lot of kids just are looking to have some fun, there is not a lot for these kids to do.

Just to put a different perspective out there to those of you who think the mother was at fault. I am the mother of a very, very troubled teen. Last year she was charged with 2 counts of solicitation for murder against her father and I. She was put on probation, sent to a few treatment centers and then just dropped off on our doorstep. Those of you who know me know what we have done to try to help our daughter. All the counseling and medications. Even have her in home school. We had gotten to the point where we could trust her (or so we thought) and let her go out with her friends for an hour on Halloween. She went off with a boy and couldn't find her. Had the police looking, our friends, etc. She was out past her curfew. Eventually we found her and called her probation officer the next day. She should have gotten an automatic 10-day stay at juvi as stated in her probation contract. She got nothing. Just a "this is the first time she has done anything like this" speech and off she goes. Our daughter is literally never out of our site. Door alarms, the whole deal. She has behavioral/mental issues that she was getting help for. She ran away about 2 weeks ago because she told me her probation officer said she got off her probation early and she could do whatever she wanted to now. Again, called the police. They found her about an hour later. Police were ready to take her to juvi. Probation officer said no. Police actually argued with the PO because of my daughter's state of mind. Still, the answer was no. So home she came. She was so mad and upset that she assaulted me. Finally the police didn't have to listen to the PO and took her away. So after 2 weeks her probation office still hasn't returned any of my phone calls. We have no idea what is going on with our daughter. She needs her meds but isn't getting them. She needs her counseling but isn't getting that either. Her PO knows best and won't let her get the help she needs right now. No matter what we did to help our daughter is seemed the "system" slammed the door in our faces. My point is this: Yes, the mother should have watched her daughter more but what if the system failed her like it did us? There have been more times than not that I felt so beat down by the system that I just wanted to quit. Maybe her mom didn't have the resources to hire an attorney or know about all the legal help that is out there for the parents that Social Services and Probation is certainly not going to give out. Maybe instead of pointing fingers at the parents or even the kids, we should be pointing the finger at the system ask them what they did to help.

Ok, no one knows what goes on in other peoples households unless they are there.
It has taken me a long time to get over being appalled when I listened to my 3 girls talk about the things they did when they were younger over a holiday table.
It still urks me but theres no going back. We were blessed and very lucky that no one ended up in any type of serious situation back then.
I was a single parent working full time trying to raise 3 girls and let me just say,, I thought at the time I was doing a darn good job of it all. They tried normal teen stuff on occasion, but I had to choose my battles.
I always tried to make sure they knew how much I loved them and what was expected.
They all knew I did not approve of drugs or alcohol and homework came first,,, all the things that you try to make sure of.
So needless to say I could not help but take it somewhat personal years later as I listened to the laughter of the 3 of them talk about things they did when they were younger, that I NEVER had a clue about.
I got over it,, as if there was any other choice, but it still annoys me if i think about it. Especially considering that just one phone call by a neighbor could have possibly changed the whole course of all our lives,, and I dont mean in a good way either.
There were parties when I was at work.
There were boys over. There was school skipping, altho not enough to really raise questions.
There were sleep overs that never really existed.
They were trusted & given privilages because I had no reason not to trust them at the time.
Apparently there was always at least one of thier friends who had some weed and thank God, & YES I SAID THANK GOD, that it was only weed back then.
There was no prescription drug fad back then.
What it was was bad enough, but still.
Bottom line is, even the best of parents do not know every move thier kids are making.
Fact of matter is, we teach and watch over and protect them until they start school, then nothing is ever the same again.
All we can do is hope & pray that what weve instilled in them registers.
Kids will find a way to do things if they really want to bad enough.
It's sad but true, and no matter how strict or lenient, bad things can and do happen.
We hope and pray that our kids get through those years unscathed and healthy but there are no garuntees.
Mine are all grown now and Ok, but it just as easily could have been a wrong turn for any of us.
IF this girl had issues at a young age, then someone should have spoken up or maybe they tried, we dont know.
No one has any room to judge without facts.
This whole story has been nothing but sad from the get go,, for ALL these families.
Every one of these kids should be out playing soccer or basketball or going to camp.
Not trying to escape life.
Speaking of camp,, yea silly stuf happened there too.
I'm afraid I dont want to hear any more.

OMG LOOK Partners in Prevention promotes understanding about the teenage brain
By STAN STRICKER - Monday, March 15, 2010

oh and I never thought she shouldn't be punished but as a child not an adult. Social services really dropped the ball here. This girl is from a broken home. Dont you all think if you see the death of a sibling you would have issues? She actually saw her brother die right in front of her. This girl tried calling out for help for years and instead of helping her she was handed money and told later Ashley. Well here's later.

You people ever heard of asperger's syndrome? Classic case. So now we throw the book at the mentally ill? Cool. Next about we go after those with Down syndrome. Folks wheres your compassion?

abc123, gma, and prinny,

Thank you! You have given me hope that there are still good parents out there! Too many bad parents out there!

frogger...call pacman!

Adult court is not the answer for a 15 year old. I do agree juvi though for sure!!!

Adult court is not the answer for a 15 year old. I do agree juvi though for sure!!!

PRINNY68~ KUDOS TO YOUR POST...it literally was an awakening for me! Your statements are so very strong but yet so true! I called my husband into the room to read him your post. I have to agree 100% with your comment and agree "my friends...that's parenting". WE need to stop being concerned with being friends with our kids and be parents. they need guidance and structure and support and love and be there to help them create their own paths in life.
Amen to your comments!!

Prinny... my sweet child... THANK YOU... I wasn't sure if you still posted here. There ya go folks... There truly is NOTHING better than hearing your own child say, "You did good"! I emotionally support my children now, because they still NEED support and I hope they always will. The old saying... "It takes a village, to raise a child" truly needs to be taken seriously! If a parent has no relatives nearby, they have NO network of caring support. For those that just DON'T, the community needs to pick up the slack. It should be simple for a child to find help. But adults are so concerned about anyone "in their business" our kids pay the price.

Thanks again, my precious daughter, for your support!

copperguy...he's got twice the talent!!

The blurb about Mr. Silha appears to be missing something. He was convicted of OWI 5th offense. Under WI law, a person cannot be convicted and sentenced for both OWI and PAC (Prohibited Alcohol Concentration) for the same offense.

Oh and I mis-typed, I am a mother of two ALMOST pre-teens and then I have a baby 5 year old, whom I must say even has expected responsibilities within reason. She cleans her room and does all those things she doesn't like to, because it's setting the expectation when she's young that I am the parent and she is the child. I set the rules and the responsibilities and she follows them. It's life. And I'm sure all three of my children will deal. And if I start finding out they are getting involved in things they shouldn't, Lord help me.... There is NO three strikes in my house, you're out after the first serious one. Strict? ABSOLUTELY!

How about this ladies and gentlemen,

I AM one of gmaof3's daughters... the oldest actually. And let me tell ya, she WAS and still IS a fantastic mother. She cared so much and I hated her so much for it when I was a teenager, but for the parent that she has taught me to be, I will be forever grateful! The bottom line is good parents can raise bad kids just as bad parents can be lucky enough to be blessed with a child better at parenting themselves than the parent. We only have one shot with our "little ones" before they become bigger "little ones" (teens) and start to make decisions on their own. By the time a child hits 13 you should have already instilled the lessons you needed to, to ensure they can choose friends wisely and be doing something more than "hanging out" and "experimenting" all the time. Yeah ok, I smoked as a teen, and smoked pot now and then, but did I ever go to drinking parties? Not over my mother's dead body! She would've KILLED me and that was that. She would take my car away and ground me and do such horribly cruel things to me as "ending my life" by not letting me leave my room! I hated her, but secretely loved her for caring. She expected us to get good grades, hold down a part-time job if we wanted a vehicle and get involved in extra-curricular activities because it kept us to busy to be involved in unhealthy things. And guess what? She held us accountable for our actions! If we messed up, we payed for it! If we lied to her, we had to EARN that trust back. Did she make mistakes with us? Absolutely, but we never had to wonder if she cared. And in my eyes, a young girl who at 14 is bringing drugs to school and getting involved in things WAY over her head, is WONDERING who cares about her by acting out like this. If her bad behavior goes unpunished by those that are supposed to love her, my guess is she'll just assume nobody cares(especially her parents) and will assume it won't matter whether she messes up again or not.

I'm a mother of two and I hold my children accountable for their actions at 8 and 9 the same as I would an adult. My expectations of them are out on the table and they are fully aware of right and wrong, and are expected to be responsible and learn lessons with each mistake. They have consequences, and I am totally nosy and up in ALL of their business! Guess what, until you're 18 and I am no longer LEGALLY responsible for you, YOUR business IS MY business! In return, I give them everything in me and my unconditional love, every second of every day. And THAT, my friends, is the true definition of being a parent!

Boy the girl was already busted for screwing around with meds, already going to an alternative school and again was messing around???
She obviously has no clue and needs some serious time.

I don't know these parents, but have to comment on the holier-than-thou attitude of some of the posters here. Truth is, sometimes even the best parents have children who do as they want no matter how good their parents are/were.

For example, I used to drink alcohol on the bus with teammates on our way to forensics meets. We'd get pretty tipsy, including on our way to the state forensics meet.

I never kept a journal and never brought any evidence at home. I was a straight-A student and member of many clubs.

My parents were really good, and they did punish me when they caught me breaking the rules. But they to this day know nothing of me drinking on forensics trips...and many other things I did. And they were completely horrified when they found out about my very-responsible brother's risk-taking driving.

You can be the best parent in the world, but most kids will still do some incredibly risky things. "There but for the grace of God" is a very true sentiment.

to Pyper:
This isnt a support board. This is a place to discuss the story and the issues that go with it. If you or anyone else wants support, create a fan page on facebook.

gmaof3...I would guess our last poster is one of them! Friend not parent. Tragedy!

But its so true Alleycat... its a simple concept... and when the kids start running the household and parents give up, they have just handed their children over to the predators.

Be it drug dealers, or sexual predators... by not knowing what their children are getting into IS neglect, anyway you stack it up. Kids at this age need GUIDANCE more than ever. They need to know they are a part of the structure of the family. And more important than what Mom and Dad want for themselves. Many parents nowadays are more concerned about their OWN satisfaction, and children are what they HAVE TO put up with and just get in they way of their own selfishness and wants... Its sad... kids are stuck in the middle and what is easier for them? They can find acceptance and NO judgment from the lowest of humanity. Be it drugs, sex, crime.. gangs... Kids just want someone who will take them as they are... They will run for the path of least resistance... and acceptance.

Parents need to be in rescue mode BEFORE the conflict starts and start early! They are such sponges when they are young! They should never even get to THAT point... if parents really want to parent. It still comes down to the parenting, as far as I'm concerned.

gmaof3...yes, those were my comments yesterday as well which hit a nerve and were removed. Lack of parental responsibility! Deadly this time!

THANK YOU for saying that, Alleycat... That's ALL I was trying to say! Hindsight is 20/20... but I just don't see how these parents could NOT have been aware that their children were into this much crap! And dating at this age? What? Just 3 years younger than the little guy that died is MY grand daughter's age! This is scary but there is absolutely NO reason for this to have happened.

And comments like HE took the pills and HE didn't have anyone putting a gun to his head to make him take them, is asinine. These parents should be held accountable by NOT educating him early enough and paying attention to the signs. I am sure there WERE signs! But no one cared to notice, in my opinion.

I'm not going to argue any more with others on here, about who is a better or worse parent... Kettles and pots are simply arrogant insecure comments.

AND a parent shouldn't give a rat's arse what other parents think of their own discipline for their own children. I didn't WANT to be the cool parent... I just wanted to be the parent with the kids that MADE IT alive!

And to Ladulce - thank you for saying "Parents have blamed everyone BUT themselves for TOO LONG. Kids are a product of their environment and morality and responsibility for one's own actions are obviously amiss in this case."
You are dead on, my friend!

gmaof3
Mar 7, 2010 at 3:24 p.m.
Suggest removalI NEVER said they didn't try things, I said I knew about it or found out about it! And dealt with it! I didn't just throw up my hands and give up on them! Or blame it on the schools or anything else. My point is, parents must take responsibility for their OWN children.
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Then your child could have distributed or consumed these same drugs leaving someone dead.
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Congrats! You would have found out about it AFTER THE FACT, just like this young lady's mom did. You would have "not thrown your arms in the air or given up on them" JUST LIKE THIS MOTHER. Heck, you would have probably asked to have him/her released to your custody...just like this mother.
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You just proved that you are no better or different than any other parent out there. I look back at how involved my parents were and all the stupid crap I pulled and in the end, like most parents mine were hard working, involved and LUCKY! As was I, my brother and sister.
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I don't know this mother, perhaps she has no business raising kids...my only point is GOOD PARENTS have their GOOD KIDS make HORRIBLE DANGEROUS and unfortunately SOMETIMES DEADLY decisions... at times.

Not sure where you're going with your pot/kettle scenario. Not applicable here.

I picked my battles with them, carefully. If they smoked a cigarette, well that's experimentation. One new years eve, youngest daughter went to babysit with her best friend for an infant. That "mother" bought EVERCLEAR for them to drink while watching HER baby! Youngest daughter called oldest daughter, oldest daughter called me! I called the police then went and picked her up! Her butt was in soooo much trouble for 3 months! The police called CPS and the "mother" lost her baby (don't know for how long...) I NEVER said they didn't try things, I said I knew about it or found out about it! And dealt with it! I didn't just throw up my hands and give up on them! Or blame it on the schools or anything else.

My point is, parents must take responsibility for their OWN children.

I knew every one of their teachers... the gal at the front desk as well, who called me, the one and only time my youngest ever tried to skip school. I was working in Delavan when my girls were in 9th and 11th grade. When I suspected they were starting to "get into things", I quit there and got a job 10 minutes away. And yes, my daughters despised me while they were in school. I didn't care... I wasn't trying to be their friend, I was the mother! It goes with the territory, but after they got out, they found out what the "real" world was like, and appreciated what I did for them. Especially when their other friends were getting into things, and paid with consequences. Now my oldest daughter has three of her own and she asks me constantly about How I might handle this or that, or she tells me what she plans to do in this or that situation. I must have done something right, or she wouldn't care to hear my opinion. I don't volunteer but am there for her, when she needs me.

I am close to both my daughters, and now we can be friends... MY job is done. They now take what they were taught and deal with their own family issues in their own way. I am proud of both of them. They are level headed, trust their own judgment and are successful young ladies! They got through it all, unscathed.

My parents cared about me and I still experimented! DO NOT cut on my folks, they were older than most of my peers parents. I smoked, smoked dope, tried just about everything and my mom was up my butt all the time. Still managed to sneak it in! Ihavealife is right, (hey, there is a first time for everything), YOU DO NOT AND WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO WATCH EVERYTHING YOUR TEENAGERS DO! If you can I will say, Nice to meet you, Houdini!!! What about school? Do you go sit next to them? When in Edison, I smoked when I went pee or poop, LOL. Dale and gm, it is funny your children don't despise you! Last but not least, the only fault in this situation lies with the kids who did it! JMO

ihavealife... you are quite the piece of work! Parents who really DO TAKE AN INTEREST in the what, where, who, how and when of their child's life usually do NOT have these problems.

And NO! YOUR children were much more devious than ours! I didn't HAVE to take my child's "word for it", I followed up and checked. I raided their rooms, I checked their journals, I called other parents! I did not give a crap what other parents thought of me. I was only concerned about the safety and well-being of MY children AND theirs!

Obviously, by your own admission, you were a troubled child as well. I feel sorry for you, but don't pass judgment on others who care about their OWN children! I did what I had to do to keep my kids alive and out of trouble!

Sorry for ya! And MY soapbox is better than yours!!

:)

ihavealife- I am very sorry for the fact that you were unable to properly supervise your children. I am happy that they didn't do any permanent damage. THE POINT of parenting a pre-teen and teenager is NOT to "take their word for it" at all.... The point, and, YES, it takes real involvement is to make a point to know their friends, their friends families, and to know where they are. So, if my daughter tells me she is going to be at her friend's house, I will be calling the other child's parents, showing up at a movie theater to assure she is where she says, and, IF there is a lie, IT WILL be dealt with swiftly and effectively. This girl's mother KNEW that the child had serious issues when she previously took drugs to school. At this point, a serious intervention SHOULD have taken place- at very least- keeping her under "lock and key" and getting her into therapy. Perhaps more dramatic measures, such as switching schools or homeschooling. Parents have blamed everyone BUT themselves for TOO LONG. Kids are a product of their environment and morality and responsibility for one's own actions are obviously amiss in this case.

Maybe the 14-year-old girl's mother should've taken away her cell phone and kept her under "lock and key" after she was expelled for bringing oxycodone to school, or put on probation for disorderly conduct. It took the death of another child for her to rise to that level of discipline? Is the petition regarding possession and paraphernalia a result of Aiken's death, or is that just another previous offense that this girl's mother knew about? Others may have been at fault but, to me, this girl's mother holds the majority of it.

It says they were dating? Who in the hell lets their 13 or 14 year old date? And if the girl is charged with her crime so goes to adult court. I don't see this happening I don't think we are going to send a 14 year old to prison.But with her track record she needs something. Granted parents cannot be around for everything but they should see the signs of trouble coming. And in this case there seems to have been bright flashing signs long before this tragedy. Peer pressure is a very strong thing like it has always been. Take a look at your children's friends and if they are not what you think your kids should be running with then put a stop to it. And for crying out loud don't let your 13/14 year old kids "date"

These kids have NOT been properly supervised. Their parents obviously did not take the time to get to know their child's friends!

I too was very sure I knew where my kids were at. Not that it was easy... it took WORK to keep my eye on them. And yes... the teenage years are challenging, to say the least. But that is what parents should be doing. My own daughters thought I had "eyes in the back of my head"... I networked with other parents.... making sure that other parents would be there to supervise, if this is where my own children said they were going to be.

Its hard-yes.... but if you're not up to the task... you shouldn't HAVE children!

I hope these two kids are salvageable... but perhaps the neglect they've had to live with has damaged them greatly. I don't have any answers.... I just hope other parents see this as a wake up call to get their own parenting skills in check. WAKE UP people!

Those blaming the parents may be justified in this instance...truthfully I have no knowledge about that.
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That said, middle school can be a wicked place and even the best kid can end up lost and in trouble during those years. Good parents can lose control of their kids, especially during the middle school years.
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It isn't always the parents, sometime kids make their own bad decisions. I am hopeful that my own children don't need parenting that includes knowledge of when they poop when they are in middle school...allowing them to make their own decisions...the danger in rasing smart independent children is they can screw up.
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Again, I am not saying this applies to this situation because it sounds like...from those who claim to know...that parenting was lacking, however,that isn't always the case.

"There, but for the grace of God...."

My comments are directed toward the girls family. And I know this because I know them personally...

I am family to the mother of the 13 year old boy that has been arrested. Not blood family but I've known her since I was born. I've known her kids since they were born. I remember how it feels to be young & do things you don't think will affect you or anyone else, we all think we're invincible when we're kids, but we're not. No parent can know what their kids are doing 24/7. My dad was pretty strict but I still got away with a lot he couldn't possibly have known without cameras on me 24/7. She loves her kids & works full time & didn't know her son was into drugs. His dad isn't around & not a good role model anyway, but his stepdad is & they're doing their best to deal with this tragedy. I've seen the negative comments about her before they were erased by the Gazette & one of you in particular made me very angry with your comments about her not being around for her kids, & you obviously don't know her as well as you say you do. She is a good woman & she is going through a very bad time, so put yourself in her shoes. Her son could have died too, and not to say anything negative about the boy that died, but nobody held a gun to his head & shoved the drugs down his throat. Please try to be compassionate to the families before you put negative and downright mean comments about anyone online.