Prevention... Your post is fabulous! I think what you said is the tip of the iceberg, for the breakdown of parenting skills. We have adults now, that had no rules when THEY were growing up. Its such a shame to see our youth being left to flounder and subsequently fail as teens and young adults. The old adage of "if it feels good, do it" may have came out when I was growing up, but we certainly didn't live it!

MY kids didn't have everything THEY wanted either! We had a cheap knock off for a video game that we used for years, but with very LIMITED time limits. I also didn't have the TV on as much as people do nowadays. When the kids did their homework, their was NO TV. We ate as a family in the dining room. We discussed the days activities. We were a family. When our kids had school functions, we attended.

When they had "issues" we addressed each one, as much as they would want help.

Bottom line is though, the children knew where their "place" was... As much as my two daughters might have "hated me" at the time, I was consistent, and they now (years later) have thanked me sooo many times over the years, for really loving them that much, that I would make them be where they were supposed to be!

Skeeter and facts... EXACTLY! (well maybe not the caning...) but kids have no repercussions from home, for acting out. Most kids do not even KNOW what respect means! Respect for others' property, for teachers/parents/authority PERIOD!

And all the comments that you can't "watch" your kids 24/7... bull...crap! If you begin with boundaries and are consistent, and follow with consequences - YES YOU CAN! Our 4 kids didn't pull the stunts their "secondary" friends did... because I was VERY cautious about who they "ran" with. Their best friends had parents I knew WELL! And we kept them VERY busy, outside of school. Dance lessons, swim lessons, soft ball, band, color guard, cheer-leading, pompoms, show choir, and a lot of family weekends together.

Kids won't raise themselves... Attentiveness with a firm loving heart gets these kids through puberty. I wouldn't want to go back to puberty for all the Tea in China! Its rough, but its a parents responsibility to BE the parents.

maybe a good caning in public would help

gma & prevention, I was raised in the type of household as both of you (thank god), but times have changed! To get to "most" kids now a days it basically takes brute force. Never in my day would I have thought about vandalizing anything! Sure we still acted like kids, got in trouble, cops would take us home and notify my (our) parents! Worse than going to jail. Society makes in wrong to old school parent the kids now days. Not that I'm saying it's good to beat or hit kids! Just the thought made me not do it. Now even threaten a kid and they laugh at you and say go ahead!?!?

Gmaof3, I agree. As a kid, I experienced what you did to your kids. I hated it! I didn't like that my friends were allowed to sneak around and roam the streets with little to no consequences. We didn't have an allowance, we knew what we got to go do something with was something that our parents worked hard for, so spend it wisely.

I have to say, I did grow up in a home with one income. Of course, we then also had mom at home. She did things with us, she volunteered at our schools. When she did go back to work... when I was 11 y/o, it was at the school's superintendent's office which was on the front lawn of the high school, eventually in the high school by the time I graduated high school.

We didn't have everything we wanted. We had short vacations... 3 days, 4 tops. Regardless, the rules and discipline Mom had and did were followed through when Dad came home... and he commuted between Chicago and Cleveland a week or more at a time. Dad only had to give "the look" for us to know we were in trouble or he was disappointed in us. Between Mom and Dad, that was worse than any grounding we could have had. The sheer disappointment. Wouldn't that be wonderful if kids had THAT instilled in them today?

Here's the deal, it is probably too late for these parents to rein these kids in without some intervention by authorities. What parents of younger kids need to understand is that while they are young, is the time to instill respect for authority, property and others. From personal experience here, by the time they are 11 to 13, you need to have instilled all the principals and moral responsibility children need, to get through the REST of their lives. You can't "correct" it when they are 15 and older. My own girls have had their share of issues... no issues with police, drugs or the other crap kids get into, but they learned young what was expected of them, with NO "wiggle room"! These are the rules - this is what you WILL OR WILL NOT do, and here are the consequences. Consistency in the home helps children find their place in the family and the family will thrive when everyone is doing their part. And a ton of love every day. Even when as a parent, I had a bad day, I did my best to try to leave it at the door. I know I failed often... kids do not come with a parenting manual... but somehow, kids can get through puberty if we as parents, act like parents instead of trying to be the cool Mom where all the kids hang out, because they let the kids do as they please.

And as my daughter has mentioned before.. good parents can raise bad kids and bad parents can end up with good kids.

I agree that Rock County needs to show a heavier hand at the juvenile stage... by the time these kids get to adulthood, NOTHING is going to get their attention, but incarceration. By that time, for most, its too late.

Give them community service in Janesville helping paint the murals downtown that they want, at least put the kids skills to use!

I have to agree with cynicaleye and ACE, these KIDS should be held accountable financially also. Make them work it off. I really like the public apology part. Do you mean to tell me that the parent blamers that have posted here, have NEVER EVER done something wrong that your parents didn't know about. These people who like to blame the parents either don't have kids or really don't have a clue of what their kids are doing. You can think their perfect all you want but if you are not standing there with them 24/7 you do not know what they are doing. Not all bad kids come from bad parents. My heart goes out to the parents ACE mentions. I've been there. If I remember right, 15 years ago juvie was $250 a week.

Sorry, it's emancipated! Just in case there are any spellcheckers on here, I went and looked!

You are right, ACE. I have worked in the system and had a child in the system. Most of the time it seems they don't care. One more year and he can be immancipated, can't he? At 16? Then his parents can kick him out. I was immancipated at 16, my parents didn't want to deal with me. I moved in with my sister and she straightened me out. God Bless her!

I agree, make them clean it up under adult supervision (not their parents). Then interrogate them just like adults and find out for sure if they are in a gang. If so, get that gang out of Milton and out of Wisconsin. And like someone said, if they were just bluffing, take them to Chicago to meet some REAL gangbangers. What happened to that film "Scared Straight"? Do they show it anymore in school or is it "against someones religion" to do so? I know that show scared the crap out of me when I was in school. But the way kids are now a days, it probably won't help! Good luck, Milton! Nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand!!

Unless you know the circumstances, how about you dont post comments and cause the parent's more grief. I happen to know the parent's of one of these boys that were arrested and they are doing EVERYTHING they can to keep their child OUT of trouble. He is out of control and they can't do anything. They are just your average middle class family and insurance wont pay to put him into any kind of rehab, they can't afford much else. I agree that he needs to take responsibility for his actions and HE needs to pay but he wont be able to because he has no job, hes only 15. And the court system gives the kids in Rock County chance after chance after chance. They don't want them in juvie so they give them a slap on the wrist EVERY time. He has been in and out of court for various things quite a few times in the past year and just gets a slap on the wrist.. Probation, maybe the bracelet. He goes to juvie and that doesn't help either. The parents ARENT the problem here (for the one boys) His mother is at her wits end and can't seem to find ANYONE who will help her without taking out a 2nd mortgage to pay for it. If she wanted to divorce her husband and be a single mother then there would be all kinds of low to no cost help out there for her, but who wants to do that when you are in a happy marriage. Also according to new CDL requirements (the father's job depends on his CDL license) if the DMV recieves notice for judgement that hasnt been paid, guess what.. He gets his license taken away, he loses his job, and they lose their house and become homeless.. All cuz their kid did something STUPID and they CANT afford to pay for it to be fixed... But their son will sit in juvie getting 3 meals a day... Trust me she wants him to pay, fix it, have him realize there ARE consequences for his actions, but it probably wont happen with the court system we have in Rock County.

That's the problem today. Kids aren't forced to take responsibility for their actions. I'm with cynicaleye. The kids arrested for painting the graffiti should clean it up. Then, maybe they will think twice about doing it again.

If I had done something like that, and my parents had to pay for it, it would've come out of my hide.

Napalm - Conger is well educated on street crimes and gangs. He has years of training and experience to make the statement he did.

Don't get caught up thinking smaller town coppers don't have the knowledge of bigger town coppers. Between continous education and knowing their towns, they know what is happening around their towns more than you think.

Public humiliation for the kids isn't the answer. Parenting courses isn't the answer. Letting the elected judge hand down a decision is the answer.

These little punks should go to the south side of Chicago...they think they're all big and tough? Let's see them handle themselves around REAL gang members.
Betcha they never pose again.

I think what they were meaning Napalm (Warcraft,Napalm nifty)is the amateur way the gang signs were done.
Real gang tags are done to mark there *turf* not just some random vandalism around town.Seeing them side by side you would see a big difference.

tar and feather, stocks, ....?

Why sent them to juvie and have us pay for that + the cleanup? THEY should clean it up!

Well said CynicalEye. If the parents are unable to instill a sense of consequence, then sentencing should encompass reparations, financial reimbursement, and most importantly, facing their victims face-to-face to deliver an apology.

The little gangsta wannabees won't feel so large and in charge when standing up in a room full of seething property owners.

I have to say that I've seen groups of teenage boys walk around Milton at times, yelling profanities and trying to scare people, and I've wondered why they're parents let them go out like that. Parents, supervise your kids!

KUDOS!!! TO cynicaleye! Absolutely... hold them accountable. Not that their parents even KNOW what that word means!

put them in the stocks, get them in the ducking stool, public humiliation is not enough, just how serious is it...

Make the dirt bags that were arrested clean it all up. Make their parents pay for any damage. Make them give a public apology, and by public, I mean standing up at a community meeting, asking for forgiveness.