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physical repercussions are sometimes the only means to get the point across to kids. you cant go to far unless you are defending an attack. most situations call for a sturn talking. respect for me when i was 12 and under was a smack across the face. i learnt to repect others. if you child puts their hands on you or your spouse then you really only have one option and calling the police will not work. i say instill the rath of GOD in them and they wont mess with you. my son is 15 and all i have to do is get in his face and he gets real scare, even cried one time. i never layed but a few smacks years ago for disrespecting me and that was it.
JnvlMom, I grew up with kids like yours. Let me describe them. They did what ever they wanted to behind your back and sometimes right in front of you. Why? Because they knew there was never a serious consequence for their actions, they would get lectured, told to sit down for a minute or two, or "grounded" which meant they would lose a privilage usually only until they asked for it back. Please. Why do you think you can tell people they can't "hit" their kids?
JnvlMom, you left out a category, and I think that is the majority of people who voted "yes" on this poll. The category who spanks/spanked their children on occasion, not to hurt their child but to correct entirely wrong/potentially harmful behavior. As I said earlier, my two children were spanked when the situation called for it. They were spanked on a total of 5 occasions. All of us (the child, their father and I) remember each one specifically. That does NOT mean that I was lazy or couldn't come up with a better method. It also doesn't mean that my children do not trust me to do what is in their best interest because I caused them a very small amount of pain for a very, very short time of their childhood.
I also want to add that there are people who don't spank (like me) because it is a conscious decision to use other methods. We have very well behaved kids and take the time to make sure of that as good parents. Then there are those who don't spank because they just don't care and/or discipline at all who have naughty disrespectful children. Then there are those of you who hit because it has always been done, are uneducated on other alternatives or have anger issues. This is apparently the majority of you and look at what our society has become. Is it woking??
Parents should never spank their children. People can't hit anyone else legally because they are mad at them or the person did something wrong. Why, just because you gave birth to this little person do people think they can hit them (and hitting is what spanking is). Children are supposed to be able to trust their parents above anyone else. If the person you trust most is hitting you, what message does that send. Have you ever looked at the face of a child being spanked? It is fear! No child should fear the ones they love the most. Parents should protect their children from being hurt not hurt them their selves. People say that it is the only way children learn. Parents that say this are just too lazy and or angry at the time to try another option. There are much better ways to teach children right from wrong. The only thing spanking teaches is that it is OK to hit the ones you love if you are mad at them or they did something to deserve it. I was spanked, know how it feels, didn't spank my kids because of it and they are good respectful students and citizens. Nothing will change my mind on this. If more people changed their views on spanking, maybe we would have a little less violence in homes. Now please change the poll. I can't stand to see all the people that hit kids!
sorry. try this link:http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-...
Tough Love vs. Spanking - Good Argument
Most of the American populace thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'
One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.
Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.
Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too.
I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
This works with grandchildren,
nieces, and nephews as well.
Yes, I think it's time for a new poll.
Only reason you spank your kids is because you can, you who do have an anger problem and are lazy to take the time to show your children the right way to do things. Maybe you would think differently if your boss could wack you everytime you screwed up! There are many ways to teach your child a lesson without kicking em in the butt, problem is it takes control and effort which i think you hitters lack. I got cracked plenty when i was a kid, i told myself at 10 i would not do the same to my kids. My kids respect me just fine! I think they learned that leason the 2nd time i told them to pick up their own toys, for the 3rd time i just asked them what their favorite 5 toys were and i kindly picked them up myself and tossed them in the garbage. They cried for a few minutes till i asked them to stop, and gee wiz they stopped stright away! Kids learn quickly, and they still love me. Hit them and they just learn to be afraid of you, kinda like how you feel about the police after they give you a speeding ticket. Maybe the cops should smack you and take your car away, bet you would learn quickly also! lol
Can we get a new poll? This one is old and tired.
totellthetruth: Get real!
They're going to be getting a hell of a lot of addresses then.
I was given beatings as a child, with welts and such as an aftermath, but I still agree with spanking. You would think I wouldn't, but as an adult, I understand that the beatings I took were not given to show me how to 'behave' myself, they were given as an intimidation measure. Like I said before, there are children who don't respond to spanking and respond to explaining first and foremost their punishment, such as my first born. I spanked him ONE time and knew right then and there it wasn't a productive means of discipline because he became a shell. Reasoning worked with him, and still does at the age of 17. My second, now he is so intelligent that any amount of reasoning we try he one ups us, so a quick swat to remind him to close him mouth and listen is necessary at times. There are never black and white areas to disciplining a child, because all people are different.....the people who claim spanking is an abusive means of discipline, I am willing to bet were beat or knew someone who was, and choose to "never" do that to my child. I as well thought I was one of those. But I quickly realized that what I really wanted to do was make sure they FELT loved and UNDERSTOOD their punishments. Which is a number one rule in our house. Feelings are always welcome, no ones' feelings are denied being listened to.
Curlrock - Yes I believe you can.-Now lets ask a similar question to those against spanking. Do you believe you can raise a well behaved kid with spanking? The answer to that is also, yes. Why? Thousands of kids have been spanked in the past and turned out great. They didn't turn out to aggressive, tortured, horrible kids like many of you are trying to imply.-I just want to clarify, there's a big difference between abuse and a spank on the butt. Some of you seem to be classifying both in the same category. Nobody is condoning abuse here.
A question to all of the pro-spankers. Do you believe it is possible to raise a well behaved child without spanking? I believe you can.
30 even 50 years ago we did not have the problems we have now with our children,Why? because they were taught responsiblity, repect of their elders and they got a smack when they didn't do as told. Today no one will discipline their child for fear of:
Hurting their childs feelingsmaybe it would give them bad self-esteemThey just don't care what their children act likebecause if the nosey neighbor is watching they could turn them into CPSThey just want to be their friendOr they are just too lazy to make their kids mindand a number of other reasons. Our society does not let us discipline anymore as we see fit, and that is why we have the problems today of very rebellious kids and a nation with kids out of control!!
Rooster- expect an aggressive or extremely passive child? Really? All from being slapped on the butt a few times? Interesting. Funny, I can't even count how many kids I knew growing up that got slapped when they had it coming. Not one of them fits the description you described. Guess I'm missing something. Probably explains why many kids these days get into so much trouble and don't respect adults at all. Their parents are too buys being their best friends.
rooster....you forgot to mention #4...because under the "right circumstances"....IT WORKS!
i was spanked as a child when i deserved it, and i am probably one of the most well behaved / levelheaded people you would ever meet. I spanked my kids when they deserved it, and they turned out to be wonderful caring adults. now to those that park their kids in front of a video game, and let them turn into gorked out zombies - that is abuse
I am confused why it's assumed that if you don't hit your child your child you must be coddleing your child or soft on dicipline. I think it's pretty evident that children can be diciplined effectively by either choosing to hit your child or not. I guess it's up to each parent to choose what works best for them. I chose not to, and it worked well for me.
how about the Gazette post a new pole? this one has been out there way to long and is getting old. Time for a new discussion.
why do parents hit their kids? BECAUSE:1.) they are bigger than their kids2.) they learned it from their parents3.) they are angry (hence out of control themselves)why do parents use a belt or stick?1.) because they learned that from their parents too.2.) they can hit harder and they don't HURT THEMSELVES.
have fun,good luck to the victims, expect an aggressive or extreamly passive child.
All I have to say about this is, history clarifies the truth to the yes vote. All you have to do is compare now to then, and you will see that a jaunt to the back shed was more effective then the coddling of today's youth. A child needs to respect their parents, some need spankings, some don't and can be reasoned with, (I have one of each), but, if they do to obtain their attention, then by all means I agree with a swat.
Quite frankly NVgrf, I've been more deeply involved in this very issue than you will ever know; and before you jump to conclusions...which you seem to do quite often...as to what my personal and professional experience in this area may be...you would be well served to open your mind a bit and at consider ALL of the possibilities involved in the issue before making blanket statements as you do.
Growing up, I was always the one getting the spankings as I pushed the limits as far as I could, usually crossing the line way too far.
Our society has gone stir crazy with abuses and such in that if we look at a child wrong, they report it as abuse.
I ALWAYS remember my 5th grade teacher having AND USING the wooden paddle-WITH holes,above the door. One of my friends got it one day-- I do not remember the reason. Corporal punishment didn't kill an innocent kid whose parents, educators, etc. were spanking, etc. as a form of safe discipline.
I am positive the discipline I received as a child would be considered questionable, but that's what worked for me... spankings, soap in the mouth, etc. If I was a kid again, I'd probably just do the spankings and soap myself before my parents got to me. I turned out just fine without any trouble with the law.... except the one speeding ticket in 2003 and 1999.
By the way Darwin, it's really too bad and sad you don't have a relationship or speak with your parents. If it's because you were abused, that's sad. But there's a big difference between being slapped on the butt and abused. BIG DIFFERENCE! So before you go judging everyone else on here, you should be real careful about what you say. I got slapped on the butt a few times as a child and I have a great relationship with my parents.
darwin - You are a frickin joke. Do you know me personally? Do you know how I run my life? Do you know how I raise my kid? I didn't think so. People like you crack me up. You're calling me violent? I didn't even say I spank. I was commenting on the story. Go judge someone else and find something else better to do with your time if you think a slap on the butt is preying on someone weaker. Are you kidding me? Go hug a tree. It sounds like you should have been cracked a few times.
WOW!!! I am 27 years old and when i was a child i used to get spanked and even sometimes with a belt! It sure sent me the message that i was doing something wrong and now I have grown up and love both of my parents very much and am thankful for everything they have done for me. Also, ask your parents how they were punished, i bet it was just as bad if not worse for them! Compare your parents generation to this generation of kids, your parents were respectful of all adults (police, teachers, etc.) todays kids are respectful of..... well, you let me know.
JohnDoe admits that that spanking is violence and supports spanking. Violence against children is never, ever acceptable. Anyone who would oppose this point has very serious issues. Maybe a few years will lead him to this realization.
No spark, you didn't. You learned to justify violence against those weaker than you. How does that sound like you turned out fine?
Being spanked across the behind is not child abuse. Sorry. It happened to most of us when we were young and we had it coming. I never thought anything of it and turned out just fine.
SarahB1, do you have children?A bruise on the buttocks can come from lots of things other than spanking -- especially biking, and playground injuries, but even falling backwards on a child's toy accidentally or missing the chair by a bit when trying to sit down. I've had that happen to me as an adult!
And in call1's story, wouldn't you think that being pulled away from the parents, interrogated, stripped, and examined by strangers, and forced to live with strangers for months while the system figured things out would be worse for the child than a swat on the rear?It sounds to me as if that child, and the innocent siblings, suffered greater abuse at the hands of the government than they ever would have suffered at home. Perhaps the child involved has at least learned the dangers of embellishing a story?
BTW, though, call1, it's extremely hard and expensive to press a lawsuit against county government for any cause, and it's extremely unlikely for a citizen to win one, as the judges are also a part of county government. Even if one could find and afford a lawyer who was willing (many are afraid to buck the system where they live and work), and the case was moved to a judge out of the county, there would still be a heavy bias against someone suing the government and wanting a payout from the taxpayers.
Hitting isn't violence? On what planet. Ok, that means if I see a parent hitting a child then I should be able to jack the parent to defend that child? Its assault and battery, calling it spanking just makes you idiots feel better about hitting someone weaker than you.
"I knew a friend who had a friend who had a child who..." nice vague hearsay story. Was that from the Rush Limbaugh school of made up anecdotes?
Oh yes.. and BTW.. "Lets not tell them we're going to have them stripped down to their birthday suits, & have some ER doctor they never met, give HER a Pelvic, & everything else Exam. If that had been my children, I would have worked till my daying day, to have everyone who participated in that Kangaroo, Non-Court, before any judge saw it.. fired, & prosecuted for whatever I could find. Not to mention filing as many suits as I can file to own everything that all of them owned. Up to & including the ER doc, & the hospital he worked in (lakeland at the time). After I saw Walworth County do that to this family.. I got my family the he|| out of there, and even though both my kids are grown, & on their own.. until corruption in Government in that county is filtered into the toilet, where it belongs (Its still happening.. among other Mafia tactic's used on ordinary citizens, with no means to fight back, I'd never buy, or rent, or pitch a tent in that place. Notice I'm not using past tense phrases? There's a reason!
This is the exact topic that has given Growing Children, the mindset that the Laws of, "Cause & affect" don't apply to them. I saw it start in the Mental health community, then branch out into Public Schools from there. Now every child from the mid 80's has this sense of assurance that, "If my parent touches me, I'll call 911!" Whats alarming to me, is some of these kids succeed in bringing charges. I know of at least one case, where the spanking was NOT out of line, and well deserved. The kid went to school the next day, told her 4th grade teacher about the spanking(embellishing just a bit). The teacher called the Police, who called CPS. All of them converged on the school (without calling either parent), took the girl to the emergency room. The ER doctor found a tiny bruise on her buttock cheek, well within the fatty area. Then (again) without notifying either parent, took this 4th grader to the Police Station, interrogated her till late early evening. During that "Victim Interview," the Police had all the other 2 kids, pulled from school, taken somewhere (I don't remember where). I remember the term, "Protective Custody." After it all ended that day (the "interview")BTW.. the teacher knew this little girl lied compulsively, this little was told "she couldn't go home, nor could her brother's could go back home." They just then told her the consequences of her story. THATS where she wanted to tell the truth, but of course, after taking a whole day with her dictating every
untrue word out of her mouth, the damage was done, & not going to be undone. The mother never was accused of spanking them. The father did the spanking that night, & they didn't even give mom the option of kicking him out, to keep the kids home. The (So called) "PROFESSIONAL", during the 9 months they kept these kids in foster care, came as close as I've ever seen to destroying a family! Whats more troubling is, It happens a lot. The ones really abusing their children go untouched, while the good, honest, CARING parents, get this kind of crap. BTW.. this was in Walworth County-Elkhorn. Not Rock. But its not isolated to Walworth County in any means. The problem IMO, is that, "when kids tell these "stories,", at first glance, they're given 100% credibility, becausem of the ZERO tolerance BS. Never mind "Common Sense!" Never mind the Written Law they "swear to uphold".. "lets not tell either parent we're interrogating their child for the next 6 hours, & pulling the other kids out of school, & neither of you will know where they're going to be for the next ump-teen months. What do we care, we know their both guilty."
I agree 100%..........
Spanking is not an act of violence, if done correctly. It simply sends an attention getting message to the child. Younger children lack the ability to reason, hence one can't convince them of the need not to run into the street. A swat on the bottom, however, delivers a potentially life saving message the child understands. Lack of appropriate discipline by "do gooders" has left us with prisons full of criminals, we can't afford to house.
proartist is correct...in that "spanking IS an act of violence"...but what she and her ilk fail to recognize (or acknowledge) is that violence is not inherently bad or devoid of positive result...based on the totality of all relevant circumstances at the time. Yes...SOMETIMES...the end DOES justify the means.
I wonder if there has ever been an unbiased, legitimate study of whether or not the the truly bona fide leaders - both intellectual and dynamic - of the world, were ever spanked as children...and the effect it may or may not have had on their psyche...and ultimate effect on history....remember the two key words here...UNBIASED and LEGITIMATE.
NVgrf...was I was referring to your teaching of sociology or soccer? Either way...how does it feel to be "virtually spanked?"
Sometimes you can talk and talk and talk till your blue in the face and still not correct the situation. That's when the real anger takes over and then one strikes out. I donot necessarly condone or condem the use of spanking but an occassional heavy pat on the rear side of the problem might prevent this from becomming a problem when the child is older and less likely to listen to you. Children expect disiplin and if you can accomplish it with words, great, but there are some children that need that physical pat on the rear to get their attention.
The results of this poll are sad and embarassing for Janesville. Spanking IS an act of violence no matter how many want to frame it to soothe their guilt. Obviously those who continue to use violence against children by spanking instead of using the self-discipline they claim they're trying to instill in those to small to "fight back", learned nothing by the spankings they undoubtedly received as children. "Might" is seldom "right" and it's time all adults to stop perpetrating the cycle of violence.(Proud Mom of 3 very unique, energetic, successful, high-achieving, and community-involved young adults who were NEVER spanked.)
The most effective form of discipline *teaches*. If you are a great communicator and consistent in your words and actions of following through with consequences (and on both parenting fronts).... you will never have the need to physically harm your child. I'm embarrassed to be living in an area where so many of you find hitting an appropriate form of discipline. Horrible. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
A spanking at the right time will put an end to a lot of discipline problems. If your against spanking that's fine but that is your choice so don't presume to choose for someone else. You can suggest methods but the final decision will be made by the parent and the parent should not always be vilified if they don't accept your method. As the old saying goes and no pun intended--"Different strokes for different folks."
I was spanked when necessary as a child and I quickly learned what not to do to. I am perfectly fine. My mother went through misery with my sister and wanted to see how not spanking and disciplining would go for the younger two siblings. So currently she has a mostly well behaved 17 year old boy and a 15 year old that takes advantage of her. If my mother tells her no, she does it anyways. She is extremely disrespectful, lies, and who knows what else. My sister does not take her seriously because there has been no serious punishment. She has tried taking things away and my sister just gets up in her face and whines until my mother gives in. My mother went wrong by deciding to not spank. In my honest opinion, my sister needs discipline to go to that extreme. Some children do not need to be spanked, but there are some that can't live without it and it is the parent's decision to make....not anyone else's. I have a 2 year old and sometimes that is what it takes to get her to listen, but she knows what a spanking is and listens much better lately. I have never left a mark that wasn't gone in 10 minutes and it is usually the last resort. I do not believe in spanking your kid for every little thing though, there is a line between discipline and child abuse and some people lack the common sense to tell the difference.
JohnDoe...You obviously didn't learn anything while you were there, including who taught there and who didn't. Would spankings have helped?
Nvgrf....obviously you are still as close minded now as when you were "teaching" at Parker....
Spanking is never and should never be an option of disipline, there are plenty of ways to get the point across to a child it just takes patience
Spanking is good. However, there is a line one should never cross. Simple spanking has never hurt anyone. I was not spanked simple when I was a child, my siblings and I have turned out to be respectable citizens. Nowadays, because of the fear of being labeled an abuser, parents do not spank as much as they did two decades ago and prior, we are seeing a lot of out of control kids. Unfortunately, there are parents who abuse their kids and they crossed the line.
callitasiseeit......"...raised by the belt." Nice, real nice. As the song says, "That's something to be proud of."
I was spanked as a child and I firmly believe that my parents willingness to discipline me when I deserved it helped make me the person I am today. I never felt abused.
Sapnking is a good discipline tool at the right time.I believe in spanking and I am not an abuser! I can count on one hand how many times I spanked each child. I used other disciplinary tactics as they matured and got older. I don't believe it hurts them one bit. I have a great relationship with my kids now and they are grateful for the direction we gave them. A child under the age of 5 cannot reason and therefore you use what you can, saying No, distraction, taking things away, time outs. but for outright disobeying, I used a spanking. They learned fast and it didn't scar them in any way.Discipline and punishment are 2 different things!
In the past year I have spaked my son maybe 5 times. But whatever he was doing to get spanked he stopped doing it. So yes it works, and NO Im not an abuser now.
While I resorted to a couple of light spankings when my children were younger I was raised by the belt. I deserved everyone of those swattings and more. To say my father was an abuser is a joke. He was a loving father and a disciplinarian. He had seven kids who have a couple of speeding tickets as their extent of trouble with the law. We were taught responsibility, respect and manners. NVGRF your comment is ridiculous.
I voted 'no' simply because the question specifies "necessary," and I simply don't believe that it's ever entirely necessary. Have I spanked my child? Yes, on occasion I have and find that the lesson's learned were valuable and rarely, if ever, repeated.
However, I have met several parents who have absolutely no more behavioral issues with their children than typical who refuse to spank. Their are appropriate and effective ways to discipline children without spanking or threatening to cause physical discomfort to that magnitude.
I've also met families whose parents spank as a rule of thumb (not abusive-like, but more frequently than I ever would) and find that their children use violence as a method of getting what they want. These children abuse other kids in their classrooms, playgrounds, and other public settings. They simply do not understand that one can reach conclusions without touching or harming others. That's sad, and I see it often.
Spanking is best served ill frequently such that a child learns absolutely valuable lessons (ie. things that may hurt him/her or others). Parents who spank their kids for every little thing are only teaching their children that violence supplies answers to all of life's ills.
My 2 children each received a total of 5 spankings. 1 to my daughter and 4 to my son. they deserved each one they received. the fact that all of us remember them (my children, their father, and I) to me says a lot. they were effective. my daughter was so full of remorse and sadness that she disappointed us. my son learned that it is easier to follow the rules than to be spanked. NOTE: I said spanked, not beaten. I was spanked, maybe 3 times growing up. I was grounded as a teen and I deserved every form of discipline I received. discipline means to teach, not punish, by the way. I am grateful for being blessed with 2 loving parents and I think my children would say the same.
You hit your children, you are an abuser. Period.
My brother, sister and I all received spankings at some time in our lives. I was even the only one to get that "teenager-sassy-mouth-slap" (twice) that some of you have referenced. We all have college degrees (2 teachers and an entrepenuer), have never done drugs or been arrested. We ALL love our parents for setting us on the correct path when we wandered off in our younger days.
My cousins, on the other hand, were taken to another room to have a "quiet little talk" with my aunt or uncle, only to return and sooner or later continue with the same behavior. Rarely even a raised voice was sent their way.
End result of cousin #1: He squeaked by after almost not making in through his senior year and never attempted college. (Side note: a college degree is not necessary to be a productive citizen.) He tried to have his own construction business, but at age 30, CCAP shows me he is getting one case after another filed on him for $ past due and has been arrested at least 2-3X for drugs, which probably contributes to the debt problem.
cousin #2: Didn't like the kids in his parochial middle school so rather than teach him a way to deal with it (we all have had to work with people we didn't like), they home schooled him instead. He didn't finish HS with his peers and got his GED (thank goodness) around age 24-25. He has also spent time in jail for 3-4 drug charges, starting as a teenager.
Whenever they were at my grandparent's house or our house, my mom and the grandparents didn't put up with their crap. Someone would raise a voice and they new not to push any further. I do love my aunt and uncle but you tell me which family's discipline style had the more productive citizens.....
The question is insulting. Every family has a different method. As long as no one abuses the child, each method is valid. Such questioning is the first-stage in the state intervention in the family.
a time out give kids the time to re think their next strategy....i was raised old school and i think if done correctly and responsibly spanking is the most effective way. i feard my father and loved him, he always explained why.
I can only remember what my grandma said to me about disciplining kids. "Swat them once to get their attention, swat them more than that and you are only satisfying your own anger..."
Hell, I could've used a few spankings growing up. It would've done me good. Not saying I was a bad child growing up, but now I see all these kids at work running around being brats. Kids need them every once in awhile!My kids sure will get them when they act up.
My dad always used "The Stare". If that didn't work, it was coupled with "Nahhhhhhh" said in a menacing, mad scientist kind of way. My mom used the fly swatter. The sting of the swatter wasn't much to speak of, but the fear of getting old fly guts wiped on you was an A-1 deterrant for fugure bad behavior. 8-p
"Necessary"? No.Some children learn without it. Some parents can teach without it.
But not all.
in_my_opinion: sounds like your mom and mine would get along! I had almost the identical experience at about the same age...and I believe I deserved it, and it never happened again...and I have never hit someonelse, so for me, being slapped didn't teach me "to deal with anger, etc in a violent way". I just learned to keep my mouth shut unless I have something nice or neutral to say...and not to make idle or empty threats.
Frankly, I use a swat on the behind more to get their attention than as a form of punishment. I grew up with "the paddle" or "the belt", as a form of punishment. It didn't work. I think there is a clear difference in swatting a 2+ year old on the behind once and bending a child over and smacking them repeatedly with your hand, or something else, as punishment for something that occurred.
As a parent, I'm not comfortable with that.
I'm confused. These numbers suggest that the good majority of parents (so far) believe in swatting their kids yet the kid's attitudes suggest otherwise. Does this mean that the majority of parents were for spanking but didn't because they were afraid of going to jail? That would explain a lot.I had a relative who swatted her son. He screamed at her that he was gonna turn her in for child abuse. She put him in the car and drove him to the police station and told him to get out and tell. He wouldn't. When I was 15, my mom told me that if I didn't quit running my mouth, she was gonna slap me in it. I said "Go ahead and I'll turn you in for child abuse." She slapped me across the face, knocking me off the chair I was standing on, and sent me sprawling on the floor. She said "Now that's child abuse. Now you gotta reason to call." I cried like a 2-year-old and apologized 18 ways from Sunday. In highsight, I had that one coming all right. Maybe she should have done it a little sooner.
Ooops sorry on that typo, not advocating spanking 8 month olds....lets make it 2-3 year olds. A swat on the seat may well convince them not to run into the street and save their lives down the road.
"Instead of spanking why not explain to your child why what they did was wrong in a simple way to get them to understand."
Very young children lack the ability to understand, that Mom has. Consequently a small amount of pain from a "swat" on the seat sends them a message they can understand. It always amazes me when college educated Mom's think they can "reason" with a 8 month old. Apparently they learned little in college.
Instead of spanking why not explain to your child why what they did was wrong in a simple way to get them to understand. If you need discipline, use time outs effectively. WITH A clear set of rules layed out everyday and what you expect of them, when they misbehave give a firm warning. Then when they break the rule again, put them in a boring spot for a minute or 3 or 5 allowing you to cool down and your child to think about what just happened. THEN you go and ask your child why they are being punished, and explain to them why their behaviour was unacceptable. THen you ask for an apology, kisses and cuddles, and then off they go. There's no NEED for physical contact accept for a hug at the end. If your kids are too old for time outs, then ground them, or take a way privileges. It is amazing finding out how many people around here spanks their children and it's even more ridiculus to find out what they spanked their kids for. IF you have a set of rules for you house and you teach them that young there shouldn't be too many problems. Key is to speak authoritative and firmly when you warn them (to let your kids know your serious, assuming you hardly yell at them) and to be consistent. Kids are smart, they learn quick. They don't want to feel like disappointed mom and dad, they want to help and to be good. It would also help if parents "caught" their kids being good and behaving well and gave them recognition for it so the kids build self esteem and know that you are paying attention.
How can we as rational adults hit a child for hitting someone else? The parents who spank most definitely were raised with spankings and they in turn learned how to deal with anger and frustration and losing patience in a harmful, negative way, by violence.I will not be a hippocrate and hit my son because he hit me first. That is not right, it's confusing, and it instills fear and pain into my child instead of teaching him that getting hit hurts people and we should not hurt other people. RIGHT? It is illegal to harm another person in any way. ESPECIALLY a small defenseless child . Break the cycle!!!!
I think that every parent would agree that there is a big difference between discipline and abuse. Responsible parents understand that and act appropriately. I strongly disagree with tj24 in that there ARE circumstances in which hitting a person are acceptable. I have said it before in my posts on the subject: I would much rather my daughter hit someone in self-defense when she felt threatened rather than take the time to explain why she should be respected instead of assaulted!
My parents gave me a whack on the butt when I was a kid mainly to get my attention when I was doing something really wrong. Like lying or stealing a piece of candy from the checkout line or hitting my sister. It was never a brutal beating but it was enough to stop me when I did things I wasn't supposed to. I never feared my parents for it either, so that argument is complete crap for the folks who thinks that's how it works. A swat on the butt isn't a beating and parents should not be fooled into thinking it will be construed as such. There are too many "hands off" spineless parents out there who are too afraid to take control. Those are the parents who have drunk and drug addicted tweenagers and kids with criminal records in elementary school.
Yeah I said it. Somebody had to.
I don't really care if people spank their kids or not. As long as the end results are good that's all that matters. Either way is better than some crack head drug abuser parent or someone who abandons their kids.
Whether you spank your kid or not is not my decision HOWEVER it is not a necessary part of disciplining a child. We do NOT spank our kids. Our kids listen because they are supposed to not because they are afraid of us or our response. They get disciplined in a different matter. I wish more people would take the harder road and teach their child respect, dignity and honor. They would know it's not ok to hit anyone ever.
Maybe then there would be less domestic violence and child abuse...
In my opinion spanking is needed to properly disipline a child. Children nowadays are mostly rowdy and uncontrolled, some are not all. Back in the day most children were well behaved because they knew the conquences for their actions. eversince spanking is somewhat considered abuse, but it is not if used properly, come on parents we turned out just fine, their is nothing wrong with spanking
When my brother and I young we taught to obey or else we were spanked, and it was the fanny, even swearing was forbidden. These days you can tell that if the kids were brought by decent parents. The actions some of kids and teenagers tell me that the parent didn't have will good control of them.
Spanking with the hand is an acceptable form of discipline. If more people tried it, their kids might be more enjoyable to be around.
Spare the rod, spoil the child. Kids today call spankings child abuse. There is a difference between child abuse and discipline.
Very rarely have I spanked or slapped my child, however, other disciplines haven't worked well at all.
I was spanked as a child; by hand, belt, wooden spoon, or fly swatter; I turned out just fine. I honestly believe parents should be able to spank their child without any threats of child abuse charges.
In fact, it should probably be used more frequently...not less.
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