Okay, Sigma, truce? I agree that people can take things overboard, and I especially dislike people who turn an innocent mistake into an overblown ordeal by then tailgating and being just as dangerous as the offender. I do have to say though, you did not make a suggestion, you made a statement, and I very highly doubt that you weren’t suggesting I had several near misses, but I’ll go along with it if that’s what your story is going to be.

Such a true story, as well as a sad one. None the less, it is a reality. A very scarey reality. In the day and age of electronics and having the latest gadget to text the person sitting right next to you, we seem to have forgotten the value of humanity.

writergirl... sorry I worded it wrong, I meant "offensive", not "defensive". I see people all the time get cut off accidentally and they react in a defensive manner, slow down, swerve, but then after that they continue on to either start tailgating the person or doing something rude. Something that starts out defensive, but people dont stop at that. Also, I said "If you experience near misses", which is a suggestion, not an assumption... so no im not the one jumping to conclusions. :)

Step up and be a leader too! I try to go out of my way all of the time to be polite and kind to strangers. I try to add a sense of humor to each experience. It really is fun -- everyone should try it. It is especially rewarding when people respond back to your kindness. It is how friends are made. It brings us back to being civilized.

I grew up in the military. I have said "yes, sir" and "no ma'am" all of my life. Because of the military, I have moved all over the country and I couldn't believe how rude people are here. Not to mention, they believe I am insulting them by calling them sir or ma'am. We need to teach our children respect, manners and politeness.

matthew516, that was a great post. You couldn't be more right. Money and possessions aren't intended to own us, we're supposed to own them. You're right, money owns alot of people in this culture. It's no surprise that our society is in massive freefall. We need leaders to step up!

We are becoming a nation of victims and beggars as we feel entitled to the good life without having to work, struggle, or produce results that give us the right to a good life.
We are losing our ability to think and reason for ourselves. We have become a society of people who are molded and shaped by the pop-culture and the MTV generation.

When people run down other people, it's a dishonest way of complimenting themselves.

We live in a society that let's it's values get turned upside down and it's priorities slide out of whack. We love money and use people. We crave more time and space for ourselves, but, disconnect ourselves from those who need us. We chase after possessions until we no longer own them, but they own us.
It's called the age of "entitlement". What happened to things like character, honor, integrity, accountability and serving?!! They've been compromised because people worship the almighty dollar over everything else. In my opinion, this economical collapse is God's way of pruning the status off alot of spoiled, self serving individuals.....

I like the old cliche' "Kill them with kindness".

Really Sigma, being in “defense mode” is not good, and it’s considered road rage? So am I to understand that being a defensive driver is a bad thing? Or was that just poor word choice?

I didn’t say it was acceptable to drive around in a logic-scrambling rage! I said it’s not rude to get angry about a bad driver. Since you seem to have had some trouble with this the first time I’ll repost: “I will agree that in this instance, it sounds as though it was more of an uncertainty about who was supposed to go first, which is probably not something to get so worked up over.”

I don’t experience near misses often, and almost never when I’m the one behind the wheel, but congratulations on those legs of yours; they must be very strong to make such a large jump to conclusions. Just sayin.

Janesville has a culture but many of its citizens lack class. But alas, that is part of the human condition or lack thereof (See Randy Moss)

"how can culture die in a city that does not have any culture"
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This is so true! I also agree with the post about dressing for success. People are so self centered and self involved that they give no thought to others. A friend of mine recently married and even though the event was clearly stated as "black tie" she still had people arrive in clothing that wasn't even appropriate for a backyard barbecue. I also work with people who think pajamas and sweats are appropriate work wear. Then they complain that nobody takes them seriously.

I also agree that road rage is way to common here in Janesville. Again, more self-centered people not paying attention to the big picture.

I think Janesville is in the throes of death. All that honking and screaming, all the sirens and flailing are the death rattle of this town.

Sounds like a great topic for Public Service Messages. You know, "Don't start a fight, look to your right" LOL but then the reality is our hodgepodge of personalities and various personal outlooks place a skew on judgement and opinion that produces anger and impatience on occassion. Don't blame someone for just being there (ahead of you in line, where you want to turn) that direction of thinking is of a person who's got problems themselves. If a person is right all the time, he/she would still, and especially so, need to practice patience, even if it means conceding to it becomming a pratice of acceptance. It's going to happen, deal with it so you wont have to look like a whacko flailing your arms or glaring like Jack Nicholson peering through a broken door. On a positive note, such outbursts do help flag people so we can tell who the potential whackos are.

So sad but so true! I see it all the time. No shopping on Friday for me, never got into it and the one time I got persuaded to join a friend I ran into all kinds of those rude people so I said never again!
I want to see the new Harry Potter movie, although I am disappointed that I have to wait so long for the final part!

I am reading Play Dead by Harlan Coben. I like him. He is a good writer and so far this book has held my interest! :) Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

writergirl, anger is an emotion that solves nothing. If someone almost causes an accident your anger will do nothing except hinder your ability to think logically, instinct kicks in and you're in defense mode which also is not good....they call that road rage. Most people dont intentionally cause accidents....hense the name "accident". waiving your arms is usually instigating a confrontation. If you experience near misses often, I wouldnt be questioning the other drivers. Just sayin.

What i mean is every generation is getting faster... technology is improving, the population is growing. You cant compare the way people act in Janesville today versus 1950. The sit down family dinner in the evening is rare, time change, people change, way more single parent families, less time to do stuff, busier parent, People are less social when they are on the move. People used to be spoiled around here, now if they want anything they have to work.

You think it's rude to get angry at a person for almost causing an accident? An overreaction, perhaps, but rude, not so much. Waving arms is about the only way to communicate your frustration with someone when they're in a different car. The point of doing it is to show that the person who is wrong needs to be more careful, and hopefully NOT cause an accident in the future. Bad drivers should make us angry; they're operating heavy machinery that can kill people if used incorrectly! Showing disapproval for bad driving isn't rude in my opinion. Although, I will agree that in this instance, it sounds as though it was more of an uncertainty about who was supposed to go first, which is probably not something to get so worked up over.

I love the advice. I feel the exact same way. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

I think the rudeness is reflective of who is attempting to control us in the Whitehouse. We need to look around us with open eyes by ignore those how are doing these things, and counter their actions by being polite. It has worked before and will work again.

Sigma said "Modern society is fast paced, the older generation cant grasp that, you'd think they'd know since it happens every generation".
Not sure who you think of as the "older generation", but, just as you undoubtedly think you're smarter than those who are younger than you, so do they (your elders) think of you. And I'm sure they can grasp concepts just fine.

In the early 80's most businessmen read, and subscribed to, a book called "Dress for Success". The gist of the book was that to be successful, you had to look successful.
During those years suits or sport coat,slacks, shirt, and tie were the 'uniform' of business. Even those that worked in cubicles or offices and only interacted with a few people in a day wore shirts and ties.
Since then clothing has devolved, and with it manners. Today I see people at weddings wearing blue jeans and 't' shirts.
Dress for dinner? Surely you jest!
When people feel comfortable wearing shorts to church, blue jeans to weddings, and pajamas to work, then manners follow the same downward path.
Parents know the way to control childrens behavior is to dress them up for an occasion.
Same goes for adults.

Well, I think that you found your problem right here.
You have people that think that the world revolves around them and that others are just obstacles.
Don't blame them, pity them, for they know not.

Sigma-You just said it all. I almost dropped my coffee that was so funny! Better we let it out lest be a clock tower sniper... All kidding aside Sigma hit it on the head. Most of us are out here fighting for our lives so when a moron is in front of me in line and starts filling out a check after the checker is done tallying up, or is still fishing out coupons while I am dying behind her because I have a daughter to pickup, chickens to feed, a family to feed, homework to do, hopefully all before midnight so I can get up at 3:30 am the next am to do it all over again I get ANGRY. Still, I never say anything, and I am always polite. I always make sure to think of others before myself-but I can see where some people just loose it :) Think: Winnabago man. We are all there sometime or another.

I dont believe in raising your voice for any reason other than warning others of imminent danger. People that raise their voice I think are emotionally unstable, and one step away from insanity. No one thinks logically anymore, everyone is quick to react off their emotions. that is where we lack common sense, think before you react.

alot of people yell and scream, amd who ever yells the most must be right. and it is the little things that people are getting up set about, then they get rude. they dont get their newspaper, they scream and use four letter words. really its a newspaper. or if they get a small coke in stead of a large, they scream and use four letter words.
people want more but want to do less for it and are getting ruder every day.

The lack of common sense is also a factor, people are indeed more stupid. This frustrates a lot of people. People dont know how to react at a 4-way stop, people are not prepaired at the checkout (have check filled out ahead of time and dont do your accounting at the checkout, people are waiting. Most of society is under the gun. My time is valuable. I drive 5 over all the time, if someone is in the right lane at a stoplight, they should turn right, people are waiting. People that have jobs value them and if it cost me twice the gas money to arrive at my destination 2 minutes early...i'll gladly pay it. Time is money. I can make money, get more gas, but you can not replace time. Modern society is fast paced, the older generation cant grasp that, you'd think they'd know since it happens every generation. Im not rude, i just have a lot to do and only so much time to do it.... so get out of my way, at least do the speed limit, when in doubt at a 4-way stop sign just floor it, dont forget your money in your car while taking your sweet time ordering your lunch, I have 30 min to go out and get food, get back to work and then eat it. And Im usually hungry. Its not that people are rude, it would be nice if we all had as much time as we wanted to do whatever. Thats not the case. I can be perceived as rude, but no matter how big of hurry im i'll stop and hold the door for someone behind me.

Good manners and courtesy today are considered to Sissyfied. People are under the impression that to get what they want that rudeness is the answer. But, this is not just a Janesville thing. You find it all over. Sure you may find another community much more friendly but then you don't live there and therefore have no idea if that is the norm or just an occurance. Yes, I get mad when someone drives like a maniac to get ahead of me and then we both arrive at the stopsign or lite at the same time. But then again, I think, it's his/her funeral, just don't envolve me in it. I'm not the perfect driver either and I do get fustrated when someone is driving 20mph in a 30mph zone. Treat people as you would like to be treated. Respect their rights and they in turn should respect yours.

What Ive seen change is no one holds doors for anyone anymore, if someone is walking in a store in front of you they just let it slam on you. If someone is right behind me no matter where im at I look behind me when walking in anywhere, and hold it open. Everyone looks for and feeds on drama today. People need to be rude to satisfy their failures, try to make others feel worse then them.

Good article. I am always amused by drivers who are unwilling to wait one millisecond for me to leave a stop sign or recklessly drive around me when I'm turning. They must be "oh so much busier" than anyone else in the world.

I don't think this indicates a higher level of rudeness than is standard or an end to, what up to now, has been such a brilliant culture. Right now I'm eating a sandwich between two pieces of fried chicken. Anyhow, people who don't know how to handle a four-way stop are annoying and deserve to be treated as such at any time any day of the week.

Sorry, I meant Jamie, not Greg.
How rude of me!

I haven't seen any rudeness, Greg, maybe I don't get out enough.
I find I'm less rude if I'm stressed. If I have a bad day at work, the best way I've found to get out of it is to be courteous to someone else. It reminds me that I can still be civil.
One thing I've noticed about 4-way stops are the people who slow down to make sure you're the one that stops first, so there's no debate. It's sure funny to see two cars going slower and slower toward an intersection, not wanting to arrive first!

And here I thought they were telling me I was number 1....

Yeah, that's what I said, "The Janesville".
You gotta problem with that?

Well, hey, we're not just any Janesville -- we're THE Janesville!

"It’s like the Janesville is packed"

Vivid narrative indeed! :)

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -- Rev. John Watson (not, as the internet frequently says, Plato).

Hi Jamie: I have been waiting nice and patiently for your next blog, as I always enjoy them. I agree with your obseveration in increased rudeness and aggression. People make mistakes, it is a part of human nature. My attitude is things happen to everyone and it is not necessary to be rude as each of us have committed mistakes. It is something to grow from. Happy Thanksgiving to you.

At this time I am reading Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger.

how can culture die in a city that does not have any culture

The world has been ending since the beginning of time...

Heinlein would write the same words today. Of all the futuristic writers, he had the best handle on the human condition. I get caught in these traps occasionally myself. But I am the person I most hurt with my own rudeness. It's a far happier day when I can look at the other guy flailing his arms and remind myself that he may be having a perfectly awful morning. Or week. Or month. Or year. And HE'S the one who has to live inside his own head. When I smile politely and he goes on his way, I don't wonder what he makes of it; I'm simply grateful that I do not inhabit his head today, and he is a reminder to me to make one small extra effort to pass along a kind word or gesture. Never ever take these things personally. I am not excusing this behavior. I am keeping my own side of the street clean and that counts.