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Stickin' with chicken

If you know where to look, there are signs that it is finally time for me to write my ubiquitous chicken blog:

~I emceed the Rock County Fair's fur and feather sale.

~Wheelock Poultry delivered show chickens to the Boone County Fair this week.

~I ate some chicken nuggets that same day. They were delicious.

~Cathy Idzerda constructed the Fisher Price barn set on the filing cabinet next to my desk today, complete with three chickens and the square-top fence posts for them to perch.

Clearly, it is time. The chickens cannot be ignored!

Nor can the turkeys, which is probably where this all started. You know how Peter Parker got his super powers from a spider bite? Pretty much the same for me, except with turkeys. And without the tights. I was attacked by our family's free-range Thanksgiving turkeys when I was a toddler. My dad (Dale "Turkeyman" Wheelock) decided to have all of us show poultry in 4H, in part as a way to help me overcome my fear. Eventually it worked. Although I was "only" in 4H eight years (which isn't the full tenure...I got a late start) I continued to help show poultry after graduating from 4H and FFA.

At one point, we took 50 birds to the Boone County Fair. This week, we only took 12. They're judged on how well they compare to the ideal of the breed, according to the American Standard of Perfection. Size and shape of comb, color of eyes, feather placement and size all matter. No swimsuit competition, though.

Based on my history of poultry shows (and at one point I was going to study Poultry Science in college), people in the newsroom ask me poultry-related questions. I can tell you the name of a male duck (drake). I can tell you how to determine what color egg a chicken will lay (look at the earlobe). I can tell you a disqualification on almost any feather-legged chicken (vulture hocks).

Bring on the trivia questions. We'll talk about the two blue-skinned breeds of chickens, and which breed lays green eggs.

My main quandary now is thinking of catchy slogans for tshirts for us at the Walworth County Fair. Not any that are (ahem) inappropriate, but silly ones. I was thinking of making one for my dad that says, "This looks like a job for...TURKEYMAN!" and has a bat-signal with a hand-turkey drawn on it.

A little help?