Evil bunnies and their offspring

By CATHERINE IDZERDA ( Contact )   Friday, May 8, 2009 - 11:45 a.m.

I’ve had a busy couple of weeks, garden-wise:

-I attended a daylong veggie seminar and an evening class on spring garden cleanup, both at Rotary Gardens.

-Last Saturday, I worked with other volunteers dividing day lilies for Rotary Garden’s upcoming plant sale—more about that later.

-On Sunday I tackled the garlic mustard in my woods.

All would make fine, fine topics to blog about.

But on Monday morning, I discovered something so horrifying that it trumps all other garden topics.

Bunnies.

While removing the straw from my strawberry beds, I discovered a small mob of baby bunnies. Their eyes weren’t open yet, and they floundered about blindly, wondering who had awoken them and why. Was it Mom? The UPS man with a package of fresh straw? A giant hawk?

No, it was Catherine W. Idzerda, sworn enemy of all bunnies.

I heard myself say, “Oh, toooooodles” and then wondered who had taken over my body.

These creatures and all their little pals would chew my plants down to the nubs, eat the bark off of ornamental shrubs and generally wreak havoc.

But they were so painfully sweet, with their tiny ears, their little feetsie-weetsies and those itty-bitty toothsie-woothsies.

After a sleepless night considering my options—was bunny murder a corporal or venial sin? I couldn’t remember—I came to a decision.

I waited a few days, until their eyes were open and bodies more developed. Then I picked up the whole nest, straw and all, put in into a wooden box with a lid and a large hole cut in the side.

Then I took the box and moved it about 3 inches to the right of the original nest.

This morning I went out to check on my nine-bunny nursery, and it was clear that the mother had found the new nest.

Tonight I’ll move it another 6 inches.

By next Wednesday, I’ll have it out the garden gate and start sealing up the fence holes.

reader COMMENTS
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(62)
pepepez
May 22, 2009 at 10:51 a.m.
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Hmm...gardening. Spinach and lettuces are up, swiss chard is sprouted. Beets are just coming up, got my tomatoes in but they don't look so good. Started them from seed inside. Green pepper plants-same story. My eggplants look pretty happy though for now. Lots of onions are looking good. Started those from onion plants bought from Johnny's Selected Seeds.
Planted cucumber seeds the other day and sunflower too. Fingerling potatoes. Hope it rains.

gina51
May 18, 2009 at 9:21 a.m.
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i put marigolds around my garden and have never had a bunny problem. It really works. Plant them close enough together so that when they get big they touch. This makes a pretty border plus the bunnies don't like the smell or the taste. I've been doing it for 8 years. Bunnies go to the next garden...

Purrmaid
May 17, 2009 at 3:28 p.m.
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Enjoyed the humorous article and the clever posts immensely! :)

The sarcastic posts...not so much. They detracted from the fun...like hitting a speed bump. And the racist "joke" was lame. "Jokes" like that in the work place would be detrimental to continued employment....whether cloaked in sarcasm or not.

Mikki
May 15, 2009 at 4:41 p.m.
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I thought LeFarte was that guy that used to do voice overs for movie trailers.

one943
May 15, 2009 at 7:25 a.m.
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Does "LeFarte" come from eating too much cabbage with your rabbit?

supermom
May 14, 2009 at 9:29 a.m.
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Packerfan - I'll have to try that sometime. lol

troublegirl69
May 14, 2009 at 8:43 a.m.
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My great black hunter sat in the front yard the other night feasting on his recent catch of fresh baby bunny. I rarely see a critter brave enough to scamper through my yard to get my lilies or veggies. I should erect some sort of statue in honor of the cat...

SwissChick
May 14, 2009 at 8:25 a.m.
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Yeah, I was kidding. It's my attempt at being sarcastic.

CallitasIseeit
May 14, 2009 at 7:48 a.m.
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Swisschick, are you kidding me???!!! Testeriffic is THE most sarcastic writer on these blogs. You taking him seriously and asking him if he can see any sarcastic humor is more amusing than his posts!

Packerfan1
May 13, 2009 at 6:11 p.m.
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Bunnies are very good in the crock pot with cream of mushroom soup!

SwissChick
May 13, 2009 at 3:22 p.m.
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Okay, Testerrific. You're starting to make me think you are actually serious with your number of posts.

Can you ever see any sarcastic humor in anything you read? Or do you take everything and every word in the literal sense??

Geez, I couldn't live being that uptight!

Testerrific
May 13, 2009 at 2:44 p.m.
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EMMO46, you are obviously a bitter and angry woman to be so crass in your words toward me, and that is unbecoming of a lady. You should have more respect for others. It didn't even take Jesus of Nazareth to say that! Even Oprah says it. I can certainly understand your unChristlike attitude toward innocent bunnies, when your attitudes toward human people is so inappropriate, vulgar, and mansardish. I will pray for you. Always keep in mind the words of the esteemed Christian theologian Jean Paul Philippe Harvey LeFarte who said "If You Give A Million Monkeys A Million Typewriters For A Million Years, One Of Them Will Eventually Write A Message Board Comment With 3rd Grade Level Grammar". On second thought, it might have been Marlon Perkins from WILD KINGDOM who said that, but THAT DOES NOT change the message, lady!!!

momof5
May 13, 2009 at 12:37 p.m.
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thought that was menses. lol

Mikki
May 13, 2009 at 12:16 p.m.
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EMMO, you're silly! Mensa is something women get only once a month!

EMMO46
May 13, 2009 at 11:26 a.m.
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callitasiseeit - I ain't never jouned no mensa, never joined any men's groups at all.

SwissChick
May 13, 2009 at 10:02 a.m.
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Mikki - Totally agree! I'll even take a collection and have them delivered.

BostonBill - How about this one?? You waskly wabbit! (sp)

SwissChick
May 13, 2009 at 9:47 a.m.
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Yeah, Gary! Another zinger! That's a picture that I'm trying to get out of my mind! Funny.

Wow, somebody (Testerrific) must not be able to laugh at the humor in the story.

There are times in the spring that I would like to shoot the birds outside my window early in the morning. (Waaaaay early). But, alas, I couldn't do it because I don't have a gun and I rather like nature.

Yeesh!

CallitasIseeit
May 12, 2009 at 10:22 p.m.
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EMMO46-Testerrific is being sarcastic. He is as far from being a religious fanatic as you are from being a Mensa candidate.

007
May 12, 2009 at 8:38 p.m.
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GREAT article. Love the compassion angle. I would have done the same, plus naming them: Flopsy, Mopsy, Peter, Cottontail, Fuzzy, Wuzzy, Curly, Moe, and...Mr. Bunn from Calvin and Hobbs.

tyger02
May 12, 2009 at 6:14 p.m.
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Did you ever hear of chicken wire? There seems to be a sensitive side filled with guilt. How else do you describe moving the babies but not killing them? I don't agree but it would be better to kill them than to move them. Why can't you just leave them be or better yet not write the article in the first place.

EMMO46
May 12, 2009 at 5:19 p.m.
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You're right testerrific...I'm a 60 year old juvie...and I have no use for you religious fanatics spouting off about your wacky beliefs.

pack
May 12, 2009 at 4:21 p.m.
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The bunnies may move to my yard and they will be safe. I have been known to serve carrots at 5 pm. :) I have no flowers to worry about at my house.

momof5
May 12, 2009 at 2:05 p.m.
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how in the world in red pepper too violent? It's not like she said she put alka seltzer out there (which has been rumored to cause squirrels and bunnies to implode).

If red peppers are violent, then I'd hate to know how you classify this world we live in?

amg
May 12, 2009 at 1:45 p.m.
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Well, I don't know if it's right or wrong but my golden retriever manages to scout out all bunny nests in our yard every year and kill all the bunnies. She doesn't eat them, but she makes sure they are dead. Must be nature's way of keeping the bunny population down....either that or she's got a psychotic side....no clue. :)

latinmami2
May 12, 2009 at 1:45 p.m.
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These articles are meant to be light hearted and I say if you are going to take the so out of context then maybe you should pass up reading them, it is really refreshing to read something nice other than the violence that normally occurs in our every day living.

916WI
May 12, 2009 at 12:25 p.m.
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+1 Way too funny! At first I thought you were a zealot, and you still might be, but that was the funniest thing I've read in a long time! Thanks:)

Mikki
May 12, 2009 at 10:01 a.m.
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Testerrific, now THAT was funny.
However, I have to say that Jesus called and says that your medication is in.

greatidea
May 12, 2009 at 6:25 a.m.
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Maybe if we would have built a parking ramp for the bunnies they wouldn't be on the ground.

Testerrific
May 12, 2009 at 2:04 a.m.
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EMMO46, based on your last comment toward me, you are clearly a juvenile delinquent who uses the message boards on local newspapers to say inappropriate things and try to get a rile out of people. I pity you. I guess I feel a personal connection to this particular story, because my Aunt Larry went through a similar story with her garden. Auntie Larry is a rutabaga fanatic, and grows rutabaga every spring. One day, she heard a strange accent in her garden, and was shocked to discover an illegal Mexican immigrant lady running around the rutabaga. Auntie Larry grabbed her shotgun and fired off a few rounds into the air, and that Mexico lady ran away. Later that day, Auntie Larry was shocked to discover 5 newborn Mexican babies lying in a makeshift nest in her garden, nibbling on the rutabaga. The nest resembled a taco, but was in fact just dirt and sticks. But my dear Auntie Larry did NOT call the INS to have them deported, because Jesus would not have done that. She raised those boys, and now they are gardeners at Rotary Gardens. Wow, talk about the circle of life!!! Praise him! HE IS RISEN!!!!!

gazettefan
May 11, 2009 at 11:31 p.m.
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I think she was referring to ihavealife's red pepper.

BostonBill
May 11, 2009 at 9:52 p.m.
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SarahB1:
If my silly Elmer Fudd comment offended you, I apologize. I’m not quite sure what you mean by, “Still too violent.”
Hey! I think you know I respect your opinions. What’s up?

ImaDozen
May 11, 2009 at 8:57 p.m.
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SarahB1: Then quit coming back and looking. ;-)

SarahB1
May 11, 2009 at 8:46 p.m.
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Still too violent.

BostonBill
May 11, 2009 at 7:24 p.m.
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In the words of that great American, Elmer Fudd, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits."

EMMO46
May 11, 2009 at 7:18 p.m.
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
turkeyman
May 11, 2009 at 7:03 p.m.
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It's really easy to get rid of rabbits. Just pretend they are pigs and throw rocks at them.

Testerrific
May 11, 2009 at 6:59 p.m.
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I just have to wonder where the concept of "all God's creatures" comes into play, or more interestingly, when it ends. Bunnies inhabited these parts long before humans came and planted garlic mustard to impress their Red Hat lady friends. It is ALL right there in the Good Book my friends. Jesus himself said "Lest thy leasest of those that is lessest shall not perisheth from the earth, thy duty to God is towardeth the forest". And I BELIEVE bunnies live in that forest. And Rotary Gardens WAS a forest before humans cut it down and built a pretty place for other simple humans to gather, gawk at, and perform false idolotry upon their flora...while evilly and soullessly eviscerating the fauna that are doing nothing more than existing as God himself has chosen under one Christ in heaven. For shame. For shame. HE is risen.

RobsEm
May 11, 2009 at 6:24 p.m.
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On a different note to Ms. Idzerda, I think it is great that you are slowly relocating your bunnies and their mother out of your garden.

You're giving them a fighting chance, as well as your garden, once you get them out and patch up the holes in your fence.

RobsEm
May 11, 2009 at 5:07 p.m.
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Oooh Farmgirl i love chicken cacciatore after its been in the crock pot all day, buy you just gave me a pretty good idea for a substitute. Now I wish it was October :(

farmgirl
May 11, 2009 at 5:02 p.m.
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oops spelling should be game stew not came.

farmgirl
May 11, 2009 at 5:01 p.m.
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We like it in a stew. Add carrots, celery, onions, a little salt & pepper and let it slow cook all day. Sometimes we add pheasant and squirrel along with it and make a wild came stew. cook up some wild rice and there is dinner.MMMM I am getting hungry.

RobsEm
May 11, 2009 at 4:47 p.m.
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Breaded and pan fried like fried chicken is the best. Surprisingly, it doesn't taste like chicken, it tastes like rabbit. Just make sure to get all the shot out first.

RobsEm
May 11, 2009 at 4:46 p.m.
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"Tell me about the rabbits George"

Of mice and men
Steinbeck

gazettefan
May 11, 2009 at 4:32 p.m.
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Be sure to visit my food stand, Chez gazettefan, at the fair this year, where I'll be featuring:

Soup On A Stick**

Deep Fried Lard

Bunnie-Ka-Bob

**Due to numerous complaints last year, there will be free seconds on Soup On A Stick. (Offer good only on day of purchase, with original stick.)

farmgirl
May 11, 2009 at 4:13 p.m.
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gazettefan: I agree MMMM sounds tasty. We use to raise meat rabbits for dinner, but the wild ones taste the best.
*
And before anyone says poor bunny, do you realize how many rabbits are killed on the road each year and cause not only accidents, but also can devastate a garden. I was just watching tv last night and they told how rabbits are literally decimating Australia. They are a pest and need/should be delt with accordingly
*
Personally IMO I would rather eat them, or IF necessary destroy them humanly, than to see them run over in the road.

EMMO46
May 11, 2009 at 4 p.m.
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Yes gazettefan, you got it!
But, you would have to put up with the little buggers until they get some meat on their bones.

gazettefan
May 11, 2009 at 3:23 p.m.
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Hassenfeffer.

SarahB1
May 11, 2009 at 1:45 p.m.
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They should put a warning on these comments ... too violent for me.

latinmami2
May 11, 2009 at 1:31 p.m.
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wow testerrific you need to relax. The story was great. I would much rather enjoy reading this then the horrible violent stories that have been happening daily

sannio
May 11, 2009 at 10:30 a.m.
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Testerrific - I don't think that's what Jesus might have said.

garyprimer
May 11, 2009 at 8:45 a.m.
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We used to have a cat that would find and bunny nest like the one that you describe and then visit it daily to practice the circle of life.

Northman
May 11, 2009 at 8:24 a.m.
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Hoo boy, the fur luv’ loonies are up early this morning! Testerrific says gardens are bad, and varmints are good. Hey, did you ever see baby mice? They’re painfully cute. Then they grow up, start chewing up your house, and spreading disease. They’re varmints too. Rabbits used to be classified as rodents, but calling them lagomorphs instead doesn’t make them any less destructive or nicer to have around. Wild critters have their place, but that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to turn your garden into a smorgasbord for them. If Testerrific would post his/her address, I’m sure lots of folks would be glad to bring their extra yard pests over and drop them off.
.
Unfortunately, Ms I., your “solution” isn’t going to help you much. Those cute little bunnies are going to be back into your garden in a few weeks, just as soon as they eat everything else in sight. You could haul them off into the country, but they’d just make a nice meal for the local predators, and any survivors would then become the problem of the nearest farmer. Very uncool. Or you can leave them, and forget all about gardening. Bunny math says your 9 visitors are going to turn into a whole yard full of rabbits before long. Or you can terminate them in a humane manner before they eat everything in sight and start reproducing. It sounds cruel and heartless, but no more than getting rid of mice, or trapping squirrels who’ve chewed their way into your attic or chipmunks who are undermining your front porch. Good luck!

craigholmes
May 11, 2009 at 7:57 a.m.
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Testerific: You have got to be kidding me, right?

Testerrific
May 11, 2009 at 5:49 a.m.
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What a disturbing story. I know you were trying to be "funny" Ms. Idzerda, but how dare you even joke about killing small, innocent animals of nature that might somehow inconvenience your human ideas of "hobby". Bunnies are a part of nature, just like your garden. Long before Rotary Gardens existed...there were bunnies. "How dare bunnies chew my plants down to nubs!" I think people like you work HARD to grow plants simply to enjoy the folly of other humans saying "Wow, you really grew neat plants, you are surely a superior being on this planet". But the bunnies just want to eat it to survive, you see. The bunnies have no concept of ego. And the bunnies surely do not understand relocation as a solution to selfishness, and certainly neither does their mother, who may become confused and abandon them at some point, and then they will die. I say, if you see a bunny in your garden, forego the garden, for the sake of the bunny. I think that is what Jesus might have said...or maybe not, depending on your denomination.

greatidea
May 10, 2009 at 5:58 p.m.
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Those look like some bunnies from the rain forest. I hope you didn't touch them they could be poisonous. :)

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