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Milton Rocks!

Depending on whether you are from Milton or not, the questions I’ve been most asked about the photograph above are:

Where was that picture taken? Did you really paint the rock? Did you get in trouble for painting it?

For those not familiar with Milton High School, it has a large rock in front of its building. This rock, “The Rock,” has for many years been a canvas for legalized graffiti.

Yes, I really did paint The Rock for this photo. It was the only time in my life I have asked permission to do so. It is also the only time I have painted it in broad daylight, as well as in the company of a Janesville Gazette photographer and lots of curious spectators.

As I was writing my name on The Rock in a scrawl reminiscent of Son of Sam, a mom and her kids approached me to express their disappointment. They had planned to paint a message supporting the Milton Marlins swim team. I told her she would be doing me a favor if she could wait 15 minutes and then paint over my handiwork. In fact, I even gave her the rest of my paint.

My, how times have changed. Painting The Rock used to be a rite of passage for MHS students, a subversive activity committed under the dark of night with a careful eye for police cars. Now it’s a family pastime for suburban swim moms.

The Rock, in one form or another, has been in front of the high school since it was built in the 1960’s. The original Rock met its end in the 1980’s when it was dropped and shattered after being stolen as part of a class prank.

Back in 1976-80 when I attended MHS, I painted The Rock a few times. I don’t know whether it was ever considered an illegal activity or not, but as high school students, we definitely thought it was. It was certainly an after-curfew activity. I recall one evening when we were so paranoid about being caught by the police, one of our friends stayed home and monitored the police scanner, ready to contact us via walkie-talkie if the cops were on the way.

After a while, my high school friends and I decided that just painting The Rock was pretty boring. So we decided to get more creative. These creative ideas are only revealed here because of the statute of limitations on destruction of public property.

Creative Master Plan Number One: Bury The Rock. Late one night, several of us went there with shovels and dug a hole next to The Rock. Our plan was to dig the hole, roll The Rock into the hole, cover it with dirt and then place a cross next to it. About a foot into the dig, we hit concrete. You see, The Rock is on a patch of grass in the MHS parking lot. Apparently, pavement was poured underneath and then the dirt was added. Undeterred, we rolled The Rock into the hole anyway, tried to cover it with the dirt we dug up and placed the cross next to it. The reaction from students Monday morning? A collective yawn. The Rock basically looked somewhat dirty and nobody knew what the cross meant. The change in The Rock’s height was hardly noticeable, even to those of us who had done the deed. But at least we proudly came away from our caper with a blurry photograph of the group posing with shovels in front of The Rock.

Except for the author (top row, far right in the Hughes Hybrid cap), the names of the participants have been withheld for their protection.

When burying The Rock didn’t quite have the shock value we desired, we hatched Creative Master Plan Number Two: Burn The Rock. So again, under cover of darkness, a group of us went to The Rock, poured gasoline on it and ignited it. If anyone ever needs a prime example of how teenagers’ minds do not function properly, this is it. Fortunately, none of us got burned in this caper, which would have definitely qualified us for a Darwin Award for getting injured in an incredibly stupid manner. It’s almost comical to remember how we lit the match, tossed it on The Rock, and ran like crazed lunatics in every direction. In the end, however, The Rock burned for less than 30 seconds and unless you really looked for a scorch mark, no one on Monday morning could tell the difference.

That was my last experience with The Rock until 2007, after my daughter had entered high school, and we decided it would be a fun family activity to paint both her class number and mine on The Rock. Yes, times have changed.

I’m sure there are a lot of other Milton grads out there with good stories about The Rock. Feel free to comment and contribute below.

Speaking of rock, I was recently introduced to an outstanding rock band called the Smoking Popes. The Popes, a Chicago-area group with a national following, has immortalized Janesville in a song called “Welcome to Janesville.”

Even though the lyrics of “Welcome to Janesville” do not, shall we say, “celebrate” the city, the fact remains that Janesville is the subject of a song. Like the envious little brother, that made me start to wonder if Milton should be sung about.

Then last week I heard my old friend Joe Tougas, a Milton High alum living in Minnesota, play a song he had written about Indianford, the community nearest his parents’ home.

It’s one thing for Janesville to have a song about it, but Indianford? They’re barely on the map...a couple of bars and a dam. What’s next, a song about Cooksville? Or Leyden?

So that just solidified my determination that Milton needs to have a song written about it. How about it, local composers? Or is there already one out there that I’m not aware of?