Mourning the loss of McPoland
I don't think I'm prone to weepiness, but I cried like a baby this morning, and it was the fourth time in five days.
The first time came Thursday when a teller at M&I Bank asked me how my co-worker, John McPoland, was doing because she hadn't seen him come in lately.
By the time I had finished explaining that he had gone back to Iowa to die, tears welled in our eyes.
I cried again later that day at work while reading the first 30 or so responses to John's "final blog," about how he was losing his battle to cancer. I cried again when reading dozens more comments Friday.
I prayed for him Sunday in church, not knowing that he was already gone, that he had died Saturday night. I couldn't bring myself to read more comments on his blog this weekend as the responses piled up and a brother and his sister informed blog readers that John had died. So like most of you, I first learned that John had died when I opened this morning's Gazette.
I called to tell my wife, Cheryl, who had already left for work and who once worked with us at the Gazette. Then I cried again.
A colleague had visited John last week and said jaundice was setting in as his liver was shutting down. His feet were so swollen he couldn't get out of bed.
When I spoke to John last Wednesday, he thanked me for all the advice through the years. We talked briefly about the Badger and Packer battles with Minnesota. I had a hard time understanding his words, and I sensed he might not make it through the weekend. I thought about driving to Dubuque to see him one last time. My vacation two weeks ago goofed up my chances to see him before he left for his parents' home, but then I thought that the end was so near that it might be selfish of me to interfere with his final days, hours best spent with his loving family. I told him to give his mother a hug for me. He said he would.
I came to the Gazette as Sunday editor in December 1987. John came as our third Sunday sports editor in 1990. I was at the courthouse amphitheater when he sang "On Wisconsin," as he promised in a column that he would, if his alma mater, Iowa State, somehow lost to the Badger football team in 1991. I had been at Camp Randall, cheering on the Badgers to that 7-6 victory.
John and I didn't always see eye to eye, and in those early years, he often rubbed readers the wrong way. He was highly intelligent and relished writing with an edge, trying to rile his readers, thinking that was his role--to stimulate debate. Often, I would be reading John's column on a Saturday and call Editor Scott Angus at home because John would disagree with something I wanted him to change or delete. I can't recall Scott ever disagreeing with my assessment, and I'll never forget that dumbfounded look of disbelief that John would give me when I told him that Scott said to make the change.
Somehow, I think John always knew what the answer was before I even made such a call.
In more recent years, when I became Opinion page editor, John was already a member of the Gazette Editorial Board. He stayed on the board until his cancer and treatments started dragging him down. I'll never forget how he could sit through a meeting with some official or person running for office as I typically posed question after question. Then, before we would wrap up, John would ask some off-beat question that typically caught the person off-guard.
It was vintage McPoland.
It's cliché to suggest that some people are bigger than life.
But it's fitting when one considers the life of John McPoland. It's not just that he weighed nearly 400 pounds at one time.
The John McPoland who left the Gazette a mere shell of his former physical self, no doubt weighing less than 200 pounds, had a personality and heart that left big, lasting impressions on all of us.
We will miss him forever.
Greg Peck
Oct 7, 2009 at 11:24 a.m.
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Rest in Peace John. Isaiah 40:30-31
Oct 7, 2009 at 12:23 a.m.
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Sorry to hear that John lost his battle with this cancer. My husband was told that he had this same kind of cancer on November 13,2008 and then told he had Liver cancer on June 10,2009 so my heart goes out to John's family and friends as I know what he and they went threw with the treatments and all God bless you all.
Oct 6, 2009 at 4:59 p.m.
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I, as well, wish I could have met John. I do believe that angels are put among us...and John is certainly one of them. Many prayers and best wishes to his entire family.....birth family and Gazette family.
Oct 6, 2009 at 3:16 p.m.
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Wow what a great tribute. I just wish I could have met John. I made a promise in his last blog that I would get over to Dubuque soon and go up to Eagle Point Park and reflect on some of his postings. For those of you don't know where that park is, it is just (way) above the lock and dam in Dubuque Iowa. The view is amazing there and that is where I saw my first bald eagle in the wild. Viewing now would be even better with the leaf colors changing. Thoughts and prayers are with the family.
Oct 6, 2009 at 8:33 a.m.
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pingjockeyb:
You are absolutely right. Your cousin John never did lose that great, stinging sense of humor. I marveled at how he kept up his spirit and wit at work even as he withered physically.
Greg Peck
Oct 6, 2009 at 8:16 a.m.
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A nice tribute, Greg.
Oct 6, 2009 at 5:47 a.m.
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I too cried as I read your blog, "Mourning the Loss of McPoland" this morning, Greg... thank you for your open sharing... I empathize from my contacts with John incarnate and reading religiously his OUTstanding and very meaningfully candid blog, "Fighting words: One man's battle against cancer." We have ALL lost a person, whom, as you write, was "bigger than life," Greg. I continue to reflect on John's poignant testimony stated in his last blog post, "I'm not afraid of dying, but I'm afraid I'm dying, folks." PURE, John McPoland! THANK YOU, GOD, for JOHN McPOLAND's life! John
Oct 5, 2009 at 11:07 p.m.
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John has been in my thoughts ever since I found out on Sunday that he passed. I've read his articles for many, many years. I recall not always agreeing with, or liking what he wrote at times. When he decided to share his very personal struggle with "the world" I had a whole new appreciation for him. I was really looking forward to him beating this thing. He truly showed us what bravery and courage looked like. My condolences to everyone that knew this man. He touched a lot of hearts and he will be missed by those of us not fortunate enough to know him personally but got to know him through his story.
Oct 5, 2009 at 9:27 p.m.
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Greg,
I am one of John McPolands' first cousins. It moves me to see the love and compassion for my cousin during his final moments on this earth. John held a special place in each of our hearts. My son, Chris, and I got to see him days before the end came. The first thing he said to me was: You can come in, I'm not contagious. Always the comedian in the group. Ha, ha. He never lost his humor or dignity, right to the end.
I just wanted to say thanks from John's family here in Iowa. To your family in Janesville. God bless you all. Gary N.
Oct 5, 2009 at 7:30 p.m.
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I never met John personally, but through his recent blogs, I feel that was blessed to have met him spirtually. My heartfelt sympathy extends to all of John's family and friends. May he rest in peace.
Oct 5, 2009 at 6:01 p.m.
Oct 5, 2009 at 3:28 p.m.
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Sorry to hear about the loss of a friend and colleague. My thoughts are with John's family and all of the Gazette staff.
Oct 5, 2009 at 3:23 p.m.
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Thanks for your thoughts Greg. I was not fortunate enough to know John. May you find peace in losing a friend, but know how fortunate you were to have him even for a short period. From what I *read* he touched my heart, I can't imagine the pain that family and friends are feeling.
Oct 5, 2009 at 2:51 p.m.
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Thank you, Greg, for your thoughtful memories! It's proof positive that it IS OK for a guy to cry. When someone touches your life, there's no way to hold it all in... There is sadness that you lost a dear friend, but remember that John is now in a place that he can be a survivor of the "C" word.
Oct 5, 2009 at 2:06 p.m.
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This post was wonderful, Greg. I share many of the same feelings you did, as mentioned at the start of this post. And it will be hard for a while, but it'll get better.
Kayla
Oct 5, 2009 at 1:24 p.m.
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We will miss him. Our thoughts and prays go out to his family and friends.
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