Jimmy you make my ass tired

one of my all time family favs....
faster than hell can scorch a feather

Or the sentence that gets everyone jumping: "The cows are out!"

By the way, I always thought Tom Waits came up with the "frontal lobotomy" line.

Why (instead of well) strip my gears and call me shiftless!

OK...Sorry

WisconsinHeat-I'd give credit if I'd ever heard of Fred Allen. I heard this the first time over 35 years ago from my uncle.

no matter what was happening...

you gotta make hay while the sun's a shining.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Child: "Hey Mom!" Mom: "Hay is for horses."
You move slow as molasses in January!
You're not a cow... quit chewin' your cud!(spit out your gum)
How 'bout some hen's fruit for breakfast? (eggs)
Warm up the jallopy...pantry needs stockin' and Mom needs yard goods! (warm up the car, we need groceries and Mom needs sewing material)
For golly gosh sakes! Could ya keep it down to a low roar? (be quiet)
Hold your horses!( wait a minute)
Hang onto your underwear! (something unexpected was about to happen)
Where's the whatchamacallit? You know, the thingamabob with the doodad. Oh, what's-her-name put it in the junk drawer by the thingamajig next to the little dealie thing. Thanks, I need it for the whats-it.

You'd go trompin' down to the crick, the calf is bellerin'.
Hmmm...I'm trying to think of turkey-related ones, but coming up empty.

Plant your garden when the oak leaves are the size of a squirrel's paw.

Fred Allen said: "I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me...than a full frontal lobotomy"
.
Give credit where credit is due.

Gosh darn, the only one I can recall is 'you got potatoes growin in those ears'...for dirty ears...lol

"prunt'near." As in: "He's got prunt'near 20 head."

Oh my. My grandparents would say that!

when I was little I thought "Prit'near" was a real word.

There was prit'near and accident at the stop and go lights!"

We raised rabbits and my dad referred to the manure as "smart pellets." When I finally asked "why?" (as a kid), he replied, "Because if you ever ate one, you'd be real smart not to do it again!"

"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy"

I can't spell this, but my dad always said, "prunt'near." As in: "He's got prunt'near 20 head."

Hahahahahahaha!!!

These are all great. I especially love the part about how describing measurements is singluar.

I can't tell you how many times I've had to stop myself from saying, "How many bushel?" or "You got 15 ton on that truck."

That's fine on the weekend, but I can't say things like that in the newsroom. It don't look good.

"If you can make a mud ball, it's too wet."

That's not a saying. That's what they teach you in gardening school.

Grandma used to warn us: "Don't eat too many of those green apples or you'll come home with LumPuckeroo"

Dad never got a haircut... he had his ears lowered.
When Dad ate he didn't use silverware... he used scrap iron.
His mother would tell us to put on a clean waist if we got our shirts dirty, and if our hands weren't clean she'd tell us to wash our paddies.
Mom would always leave a tip for any one in need of it...plant your corn early!

"Feels kinda close today" (i.e humid)

Growing up, my grampa always described distances in rods. (i.e That deer was about 30 rod past the fence) I remember never knowing the actual distance of anything he ever described. Also, he always used the singular "rod" no matter how many rods he was talking about. I'm not sure if that was just him or if everybody did that. It wasn't until later in life I found out a rod was 16.5 ft.

"two shakes of a dead lambs tail"

"if brains were lard you wouldn't grease a very big skillet"

Growing up we always heard "pot licker"<<<<

Technically "pot liquor" meaning the liquid left in a pot after cooking vegetables, meat, whatever.

"Throw the cow over the fence some hay."

Q.Think the rain will hurt the rhubarb? A. Not unless the dogs get to it first.

Growing up we always heard "pot licker"
We never gave it a thought until 10 yrs ago when my sister-in-law (who I might add is 12 yrs my senior) ask what my mom had said and what it ment. Needless to say what Mom discribed was not the picture I had in my mind lol.
There is something to be said about child innocences. lol